well my uncle died today.....

[zuberdust]

yeh its a big shame! he was a great guy to what i knew of him, he lives in pakistan but my mum is very very very upset ofcourse (her brother). lol, but i dont know how i feel, i feel as if like... neutral? is this odd? i dont feel sad, i dont feel happy, its just like.... hmmmmm....

 

[carolk]

Hi Zuber, its depends on how well you knew him. We are not always sad when people we don't know very well die, just often sorry. I'm sure you will be sad for your mum and thats good enough. Take care.

 

[Harem]

Very sorry to hear that your uncle has died. If you had been closer to him then you would have had more definite feelings. The way you feel is not unusual, so don't worry about it.

 

[zuberdust]

thanks you too... yeh i guess you are right.. i am sad for my mum and aunts who are upset. my sisters are too but i guess thats cos they have seen him recently and a crying mum can be quite upsetting too....oh well.... x x x

 

[KKOB]

Basiniz Sag Olsun, Zuberdust.

 

[Alan Fidler]

Please accept my condolences Saqib ( Zuber).. losing a family member, how ever close or distant can be a very upsetting and time trying time for some...though you may not have known your uncle so well your mother is clearly suffering and will need and appreciate all the support you can offer her.

Best wishes and kind regards.

Alan.

 

[nanamo]

Go give mum a huggle and make a resolve to try to keep in touch with all your family members because once they are gone its too late. I suppose this comes with age because when I was younger I didnt know who all my rellies were but I started to research my family tree and found it was fun to see where I came from. I hope your family get over their loss soon, its never a good time. Molly

 

[gizmo]

My sympathies to you and your family. You are young so do not feel guilty - just feel for your mother and family and offer a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen and big hugs to console.

Gizmo

 

[pebble]

OH Zuber, It is sad for your mother of course, but if you didnt know him very well, you wont have the same feelings. But look at it this way, if it were your brother or sister, and you had spent a lifetime with him, and had all these childhood memories, it would really be sad for you. Just be there for your mom, she will appreciate all the love and affection you can give her. My sympathies to you and your family.

 

[zuberdust]

thanks to all. yeh i am not too sure what to do as we r not a huggy family eheheh but my mum has gone over to my other aunt so all the sisters can gather their etc... and i think i heard her say she gonna fly to Pak now for the family... werid! just shows how unpredictable life is! did he know last ramadan that it wud be his last or the last time my mum said by to him it was forever! so werid! feel bad for my grandparents as this is now the 2nd young son they lost... but one must accept things, accept death, mourn then move on... be postive! x x x

 

[SuperBogs]

Sorry Zuberdust

It's hard to have any real feelings of remorse when you didn't actually know him. Support you mum through these times is the best you can do.

Biker Bob

 

[Martyn]

It is difficult if you have no contact with them. I had the same issue when my father left five of us when I was 11and the eldest. All contact was lost within the family so as they died in later years there was no contact and no feelings. Be there for your mother but your feelings are probably the same as a lot of people.

 

[giglets]

Zuber,

Don't feel too bad about having mixed emotions after your uncle's death.
you weren't that close to him and you are young, so your reaction is perfectly normal.

Anyway, grief is a funny thing....... I was 14yrs old when my dad died and it took me about a year to come to grips with his passing and start the grieving process properly.

Give your mother all the support you can, but remember, death is a part of life which has to be faced by everyone at some point, without exception!


Keep well, kid




Dave

 

[SuperBogs]

Not true Dave....My mother PROMISED ME should would never die.

Biker Bob

 

[Sunny Seasider]

You will have lots of different emotions Zuber over the next few weeks/months. I lost an aged great Aunt recently and it was sad to realise that this year her Christmas Card won't be on my display, we never missed that special time of year to remember each other, but for her it would have been a relief, she was 101!!!, god bless her. You take care, and let your emotions take their natural course, but, I feel sure that you'll be there for your Mum.

Lesley
x

 

[Tess]

So sorry to read your news Zuber, deepest sympathy to you all. How you are feeling is normal Zuber and as others have said you are young and you did not get to know him too well, will be a sad time for your mum and the immediate family. Unfortunately, the only thing in this life that we can be totally and utterly sure of is our demise, sad but true. Take care. xx

 

[haybags]

its always sad when a family member dies but different people act in different ways,it could be a year later something happens that reminds you of him and thats when you will maybe mourn :/ best wishes to your family though x

 

[Manda]

When my uncle died I was very upset but that was because I spent alot of time with him even though he lived 100 miles away. When my dad left he was like a substitute dad figure for me & made sure me & my brother never went without. He & my aunt didn't have kids of their own so he treated us very specially. It doesn't matter if you are related or not, it's the relationship you have had during your life. If he wasn't a big part of it there is nothing to be ashamed of by not feeling an instant loss.
As long as you are there for the family members like your mum that are feeling really bad that's all that counts. It will mean alot to them that you are there for them.

 

[Miss Money Penny]

Your feelings and thoughts are normal. you say you are not a family that would normally hug, just put your arm around your mums shoulder, I'm sure she will appreciate it x

 

[yalimart]

Hi ZD you and your uncle live in 2 different worlds and thats probably why you are unsure of your feelings, Your mother and grand parents are more important than any one else at the moment. just let them know you love them and are there for them

martin