Pheme

Member
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
Roundabout 7am every morning, beloved gets up reluctantly, slips his feet into his puma sandals and flip flops his way to the linen cupboard. He takes a freshly laundered towel, never using the one from the night before that is hanging on the bathroom hook, and takes himself off for a shower.

I lay comfortably snoozing as sounds from the bathroom drift under the door, the familiar splishing and sploshing from the shower, the banging of the loofahs wooden handle as it is placed back on the shower door, the sliding of the shower door and the padding of wet feet over to the sink. And then it begins, a sound I can only describe as guttural throat cleaning similar to noises I’ve made trying to dislodge a stubborn hair trapped on my tonsils (don’t ask how it got there and please, no Linda Lovelace comments!). This, then followed by spitting noises. I suppose it makes a change from the sounds commonly heard by many women, no burping or farting sounds and strangely, when I enter the bathroom after him, no smells of decaying cadavers that put me off eating for the rest of my life! (what do you eat guys!)

I’ve thought about buying him a toothbrush because to me, that is the norm and I cant possibly imagine life without one. Nicotine, alcohol and last nights kebab could hardly be labelled by colgate and surely are not a turn on for anyone? Occasionally, when I have forgotten to brush mine, or passed out from alcohol poisoning, I wake up and run my arid tongue over my teeth to find they have been covered in slime that can only have been left there by a wandering slug on its nightly endeavours. As much as I would like to see a “his and hers” display of oral hygiene in my bathroom, I don’t want to offend him by giving him a present that says “good morning dog breath” so I haven’t. Thing is, his breath does not smell AT ALL? I asked him the other morning, how did he brush his teeth, I even included the actions and bared my gums at him while waving my arm in an up and down motion. “Eh” he said frowning at me. I tried to explain again but he just looked at me like I was asking him how to breathe so I gave up and am still none the wiser.

Plus points of dating a Turk/Kurd - Lid is always on the toothpaste and you never run out of toilet paper ;-)
 
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Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
We have to agree with you regarding teeth cleaning
My mouth feels like the bottom of a bird cage first thing in the morning and your teeth have that disgusting coating on them yuk!
When you hear of people never cleaning their teeth it makes you want to throw up as its a bit like doing a No2 and not bothering with toilet paper or a douche.
Its not just not bothering because the breath doesnt smell,its looking after the molars,tongue and gums.
Could you kiss somebody who hadnt cleaned their teeth for weeks!
It was a great post and unsure about the noises but you have my sympathy on the teeth cleaning issue as my wife wouldnt let me near her haha
Mind you if I had warts on my penis she wouldnt either haha
 

mutlu

Member
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
That made me laugh, mine has a habit of having a shower but I am sure none of the water goes on him, it always seems to be soaking the floor and the toilet paper :lol:
 

Pheme

Member
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
Mystery solved guys. Was at the market the other day with Teyze and the sisters and sent text to beloved asking if he need anything. Reply? disfirchasi (spelled wrong of course) - flashing said text message under Kurdish noses I was rewarded by 3 arms raised in the air making teeth cleaning motions. Aha a toothbrush. I asked him about it later and he said he had toothbrushes at both his house and his working establishment - So I suppose I am severely lacking as a woman looking after her man, I just hope he hasnt been using mine!! lol
 

Leigh

Member
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
Pheme, your postings are brilliant and you had me in stitches! You should definately apply to write for the local newspapers - I dont know if you already do in Altinkum, but you should also think about doing so for the ones in Bodrum if you possibly can - I'm sure the people here would love your writing style!
 
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
Hi Pheme.
That has to be one of the funniest articles I have read .Sitting here at CRYSTAL PALACE laughing my socks off.
The weather here is still nice.Tomorrow 27degrees.
Shall be over myself on a permanent basis very soon(if the solicitors get their fingers out)
Oh by the way CRYSTAL PALACE is in SARF LUNNON
 

JohnF

Member
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
What's the significance of Crystal Palace in the thread, am I missing something?

JF
 

Smiler

Member
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
JohnF said:
What's the significance of Crystal Palace in the thread, am I missing something?

JF
Perhaps he works for MI5 and uttering those coded words has just set a motion of events into place, the consequences of which will change world history?

Or perhaps it's just because he's sat in CRYSTAL PALACE. :D
 

JohnF

Member
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
smiler said:
Perhaps he works for MI5 and uttering those coded words has just set a motion of events into place, the consequences of which will change world history?

Or perhaps it's just because he's sat in CRYSTAL PALACE.
So what's that got to do with some old gossip monger rabbiting on about her geezer having a cough and a hack in the morning?

JF
 
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Smiler

Member
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
JohnF said:
So what's that got to do with some old gossip monger rabbiting on about her geezer having a cough and a hack in the morning?

JF
I havn't got the foggiest. I just answered the repsonse to a bizare post with another one. :D
 

bodrumchic

Not so new girl
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
mutlu said:
That made me laugh, mine has a habit of having a shower but I am sure none of the water goes on him, it always seems to be soaking the floor and the toilet paper :lol:

Nobody's mentioned the hairs - of varying description - that are left all over the shower, sink, floor, everywhere..... why aren't they all bald? And HOW do they manage to get water everywhere?? Throat / Nose cleaning. They all do it and it is gross. Teeth brushing - They're either obsessed or not bothered at all. I agree, quite revolting so it's up to teach 'em!!
 
Turkish Hygiene Mysteries
bodrumchic said:
Nobody's mentioned the hairs - of varying description - that are left all over the shower, sink, floor, everywhere..... why aren't they all bald? And HOW do they manage to get water everywhere?? Throat / Nose cleaning. They all do it and it is gross. Teeth brushing - They're either obsessed or not bothered at all. I agree, quite revolting so it's up to teach 'em!!
Perhaps he is taking Pennie,s advice and comments from the sex room forum but God they should certainly brush their teeth Yuk
 

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