TLF Cyber Friends

[ceemac]

This post is KKOB's fault as he inferred my posts were boring and needed no debate :smile:

Actually, it was that and another remark that has 'stirred' me.

I've been a member here for some 4 years and have now got to know the ways and manners of mainly other long time members. It takes quite a while to get to know others in the cyber world as you can't see them and you have to learn to interpret their 'language' over time.

You do build relationships with others here but it does take time and there can be many spats along the way, simply because, not knowing someone can mean their posts can be interpreted the wrong way - that is the problem with not physically seeing someone.

When I joined, I sat back for a while at first to get the 'lay of the land' - I certainly didn't wade in with controversial, offensive, inflammatory, or insulting posts and then accuse long time members of being 'the clique' when challenged about my behaviour.

There are many long time members here (me being one heheh), who tiptoe around certain other members because they either aren't keen on them, or they just don't want to inflame anything.

There are other members who talk to each other via pm etc, and have formed a bond because of their interests, views etc - that's only natural.

The people I've come to dislike intensely are those who just don't care who they offend just so long as they get their say - I can quite easily forgive those who say something in the heat of the moment - this happens to all of us at some stage, but we usually apologise and get on with it.

There are those however who cannot find the capacity to say sorry, or to recognise that others may have a different view of things.

Some can call little groups of friends on here cliques or clubs or gangs or whatever - it doesn't really matter at the end of the day, but because you don't get your own way, or people are disagreeing with you, don't accuse them of ganging up on you because you're not a member of one of these 'clubs'

C

 

[Joe in Tasucu]

To paraphrase Groucho Marx - I refuse to join any clique that would have someone like me as a member.

 

[ceemac]

Ok I've decided I'm coming out so here goes;

I'M A CLIQUE MEMBER!

God that felt good - right now your turn you lot.

Incidentally, what do you think of same clique marriages?


C

 

[flowerpotman]

Same clique marriages would never work. You always need new blood so cross clique marriages are the way to go.

 

[ceemac]

Same clique marriages would never work. You always need new blood so cross clique marriages are the way to go.

You're just cliqueophobic :lol:

C

 

[Harem]

I'd love to be in a clique, but don't think anybody wants me.

 

[zuberdust]

I'd love to be in a clique, but don't think anybody wants me.

why? is it not better to have your own power without other peoples influence?

 

[Harem]

I could still be a power to be reckoned with, even in a clique. It is obvious that I do not have that 'power' or people would be clamouring for me to be in their 'clique'!!

 

[peter the postie]

Don't tell porkies Harem, you're in a Facebook clique along with Tel, Kym, & I.

I do try to be polite & get along with people. I think I do on the whole. I get along best with humourous people usually. Unlucky C :lol:

 

[Harem]

I didn't think we were talking about Facebook, Pete!!!

 

[KKOB]

We could be in the "Kaya Marmalade Clique" ! :wink:

 

[peter the postie]

Now, here's my explanation of the clique phenomenon on TLF.

As we have already discussed, you gradually build up a picture of your cyber friends. You get to know their writing style, type of wit etc and eventually you get to quite like them. It doesn't HAVE to follow that way of course, you may find yourself respecting folk for the help they seem to offer etc.

Now, in my case I find myself backing up people that I respect, or have come to like for the previously mentioned reasons. I can't help it, I'll often defend them if I feel they have been badly treated, and whats wrong with that?

As C points out, integrating into an established forum takes time. But unfortunately some people either dont have the patience, or sense to see how obvious that is, and find it a lot easier to brand people cliquey.

 

[KKOB]

I'm almost beginning to like you Pete! :lol:

I hope I get over it by teatime. :wink:

:w00t:

 

[peter the postie]

I'm almost beginning to like you Pete! :lol:

I hope I get over it by teatime. :wink:

:w00t:

You wont, I'm too likeable :lol:

 

[pebble]

geee I dont know...am I in a clique? i think I'm too much of a bitch to be in a clique......


I do agree with you C, but egads your pic scares the **** outta me......


All in all I try to be respectful, and noncommittal - I have on occasion written a reply and realized that I was getting a bit to snitty so i have deleted it and not posted. sometimes I just think egads.....why bother.......I do know a lot about turkey, they way it was the way it is, the mentality, the scruples or lack of, etc etc but I get tired of being on a high horse (sometimes I feel like I am, and I know I shouldnt be...)

If i have offended anyone in the past, this is a blanket apology........

 

[maggie]

Okay Girls and Guys be truthfull.!!

How do you imagine I look or what real personality traits i have.????

You can be as honest as you like here I wont be offended.
Like Marmite you either love me or hate me.!!!

Hugs Maggie xxx

 

[bobthenob]

Okay Girls and Guys be truthfull.!!

How do you imagine I look or what real personality traits i have.????

You can be as honest as you like here I wont be offended.
Like Marmite you either love me or hate me.!!!

Hugs Maggie xxx

This is before l met you,where l had this strange image of you as an eccentric pole salesman in drag.l don't know why,maybe it had something to do with the way you kept on about polishing these poles with a unique style of shimmering up and down to make them presentable to sell.

 

[SuperBogs]

geee I dont know...am I in a clique? i think I'm too much of a bitch to be in a clique......


I do agree with you C, but egads your pic scares the **** outta me......


All in all I try to be respectful, and noncommittal - I have on occasion written a reply and realized that I was getting a bit to snitty so i have deleted it and not posted. sometimes I just think egads.....why bother.......I do know a lot about turkey, they way it was the way it is, the mentality, the scruples or lack of, etc etc but I get tired of being on a high horse (sometimes I feel like I am, and I know I shouldnt be...)

If i have offended anyone in the past, this is a blanket apology........

Does this mean the Bitch begs forgiveness from all in one sentence?...hehehe

Biker Bob

 

[Martyn]

It takes a long while to get to know someone on the forum. Knowing them doesn't necessarily mean you like them but you get to know their style and oddities in some cases. There are one or two people on here who only post when they have a chance to have a dig or it's a contentious thread. I think it is perceived that people are in a clique if they have been a member a long time or have a lot of posts. The fact is that those people probably know the rules better than anyone who has just joined and invariably point out their breaking of those same rules whenever they get a chance, i'm guilty for that. Let's face it none of us ever read the rules when we first joined and just learnt them as we went along. I don't believe i'm in a clique, in fact it says so below my name.:smile:

 

[Terry the Celt]

why? is it not better to have your own power without other peoples influence?

Its possible to be really focused and insular by just going your own way in life but ultimately thats a very lonely existence as we all need the approval or respect of others at some time in our lives.
No point being powerful and intelligent but totally alone.

People,people who need people are the luckiest people in the world!! mmmmmm thats good and should be a song somewhere Lol