bobthenob

Non Active Member
Tips on Saving Money
Times are hard at the moment for most of us,and l decided to give out a few tips on how to avoid the recession.Here are a few tips on how to save money.

1/Think about this one,why do people always wash their cars on a warm sunny day.Wouldn’t it be more profitable if you cleaned your car in the pouring rain,This will save you from using your hose and having a shower at the same time will help you save money and reduce your carbon footprint.
2/Another one is when you want to go out with your other half to impress her with a evening meal,by having a expensive dinner.Always complain harshly without backing off about the inferior bland food,the service and the wine wasn’t red enough.You should get all,or some of the bill taken off as a kind gesture to shut your gob up.Did you know by law also,that if your not satisfied with the meal and standard of service,you also have the right to just pay a pound and walk out.Sounds good to me.
3/ Drive like a pensioner - driving slowly will save you money on your petrol bill, but will also result in more people crashing into the back of your car, thus meaning you get a new rear end or if you’re lucky, a whole new car every six months or so!
4/Paying your taxes is a real money drainer,unless you befriend a politician and ask if he can claim an expense to pay you and you pay the tax back ,which eventually goes to paying the mp through expenses scandals.The mp has the money back
5/ If you’re single - go out on lots of dates with people that you normally wouldn’t be seen dead on a date with, then pretend you forgot your wallet, they’ll be so glad you agreed to come on the date, they’ll pay for you!
6/Collect and bottle methane gas,a good substitute for natural gas.
7/ For our illegal immigrant readers, become an illegal alien - renounce your British citizenship, move to Afghanistan, then sneak back into Britian. You’ll be entitled to many free benefits including health care, housing and schooling for your kids!
8/ Never wash for weeks,this will deter your friends from asking you out thus saving a huge packet from the drinks you normally would had to pay for,and also a huge saving on the water bill,soap,razors,shampoo.You'll be surprized how many people will take pity on you and throw a few coins your way as well.
9/ Buy an owl,you’ll get so obsessed with how much you’re spending your time with the cute little creature that you’ll lose all your friends, won’t have a social life anymore and save a fortune - you’ll probably save some money on your electricity bill as well!
10/Buy yourself a exercise bike for your wife as a present,only to have it connected to the national grid,where you will get a lump some of money every month.All depends on how fast your wife can cycle,the faster the wealthier you become.

Any members that have great ideas on tips how to save money,please add onto it.Every little bit helps
 
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