Alan Fidler

Ceteris paribus
Things my ma used to tell me.
When i was a kid my Ma used to tell me all sorts of weird and silly things and of course as a kid I'd believe half of them.

#1 If you pick your nose your brain will fall out.

#2 The ice cream van only plays music when they've run out of ice cream.

#3 If you play with your belly button your bum will fall off.

#4 Wee turns a different colour in swimming pools.

#5 If you sit in front of the telly too long you'll get square eyes.

#6 If you swallow chewing gum your belly will blow up and you'll fart bubbles.

#7 Don't sit in the bath when you let the water out coz you'll go down the plug hole.

#8 If you swallow a fruit seed a plant will grow in your belly.

#9 Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

I'm sure i could come up with lots more if i gave it more thought... how about you..? do you remember any..?


Alan.
 

Sunny Seasider

Life is so precious
Things my ma used to tell me.
If you keep twisting your face, you'll stay like that.

I'll wipe that smile off your face

If you don't go to sleep, Father Christmas will leave you a box of cinders (cruel) hehe

I'll probably think of loads more.......................................
 

nanamo

Member
Things my ma used to tell me.
My dad told me your belly button was where you put the salt and pepper when you eat fish and chips in bed and he said hoop earings were designed so girls could hang their face up when they went to bed. I love my dad - Molly
 

Martyn

Member
Things my ma used to tell me.
We had a tv with a meter as well. Actually my father was a tv engineer but we got a metered tv when he left us when I was 11 :p
 

Lyndsey

Kalın deriliyimdir
Things my ma used to tell me.
My granny told me that in life you must always have good shoes and a good bed as if you're not in one, you're in the other. Got to say i am doing well so far with my super mattress and a shoe collection to rival Imelda Marcos ;)
 

cassıe

cassıe
Things my ma used to tell me.
If you dont stop crying I will give you something to cry for.

If you fall and break your leg dont come running to me.

We also had a slot meter TV. I remember when my Dad had only 2 shillings. I went next door to change it so he could put one shilling in the TV. Then the electric went and he didnt have enough money for that meter, Good old times. The days of the power cuts and we would all sit round the coal fire throwing our old shoes on to keep it going. Then we all would chat and make toast on the fire. Then off to bed with our Army coats for blankets. Come on. Some of you must remember these times.
:becky:
 

Tess

Member
Things my ma used to tell me.
:der: When I turned up my nose at something that was made for tea, my Mum said "Well, you'll eat it before it eats you", she was right, I did eat it cos if I didn't that was it till the next meal, no running to the fridge or the chippy then, you ate what was made - end off.
 

SuperBogs

I miss you Pebble
Things my ma used to tell me.
cassıe;297192 said:
If you dont stop crying I will give you something to cry for.

If you fall and break your leg dont come running to me.

We also had a slot meter TV. I remember when my Dad had only 2 shillings. I went next door to change it so he could put one shilling in the TV. Then the electric went and he didnt have enough money for that meter, Good old times. The days of the power cuts and we would all sit round the coal fire throwing our old shoes on to keep it going. Then we all would chat and make toast on the fire. Then off to bed with our Army coats for blankets. Come on. Some of you must remember these times.
:becky:

My god I feel so young...LOL

Biker Bob
 

Martyn

Member
Things my ma used to tell me.
You'll see the back of my hand.

You're either in or out

Were you born in a barn?

Can you go round the shop?
 

Tess

Member
Things my ma used to tell me.
If I was out on a Friday or Saturday nite and maybe didn't get into the wee small hours my Mum used to shout up the stairs about 9 in the morning "Any word of you, are you gonna lie there all day" my word, my girls do just that lie all bloomin day and everyone tiptoes around in case they are wakened Dohhh, I know - my own fault, but I certainly never got lyin all day I had my house chores to do and I was older than my girls are now!!!
 

Alan Fidler

Ceteris paribus
Things my ma used to tell me.
Vinegar's made from worms, you'll be on the toilet all day.

There's no pockets in shrouds.

Your too big for your boots... ( i had clogs..!)

Don't hold your nose when you sneeze your brains will pop out your ears.

The man from the pru lived next door.. ( he visited the woman next door more often than was necessary, either that or she had a lot of policies..).

Just wait til your father gets home... he'll tan your arse..!


Alan.
 

Sunny Seasider

Life is so precious
Things my ma used to tell me.
I love this thread, hehe


If you talk to me like that again, I'll knock your head off!


The arms coats for blankets, what, do you remember the Billy Connolly sketch, when the vicar called, and they had their duffle coats on etc, top bloke Billy for telling those kinds of true stories, lol
 

nanamo

Member
Things my ma used to tell me.
I was told that the first sentence both me and my brother said when we were babies was 'shut that door'. Molly
 

Martyn

Member
Things my ma used to tell me.
I love this thread, hehe


If you talk to me like that again, I'll knock your head off!


The arms coats for blankets, what, do you remember the Billy Connolly sketch, when the vicar called, and they had their duffle coats on etc, top bloke Billy for telling those kinds of true stories, lol


Remember that from Billy Connolly. Billys got his leg stuck in the eiderdown or something like that.

Teacher - i'll wipe that smile off your face.
 

zuberdust

IM THE BESTEST :)
Things my ma used to tell me.
When i was a kid my Ma used to tell me all sorts of weird and silly things and of course as a kid I'd believe half of them.

#1 If you pick your nose your brain will fall out.

#2 The ice cream van only plays music when they've run out of ice cream.

#3 If you play with your belly button your bum will fall off.

#4 Wee turns a different colour in swimming pools.

#5 If you sit in front of the telly too long you'll get square eyes.

#6 If you swallow chewing gum your belly will blow up and you'll fart bubbles.

#7 Don't sit in the bath when you let the water out coz you'll go down the plug hole.

#8 If you swallow a fruit seed a plant will grow in your belly.

#9 Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

I'm sure i could come up with lots more if i gave it more thought... how about you..? do you remember any..?


Alan.
omg so none of them are true???? gosh! :p
 

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