PASH

Member
There is no pleasing some women!
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity .When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three metre exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
 

bobthenob

Non Active Member
There is no pleasing some women!
This reminded me of one of my threads on the amazing adventures of BBQ between the two sexes.

It’s that time of year again, after a long 4 months of winter here in Akbuk when man transforms himself into an expert for outdoor cooking.ls there something in our genes that programs us to take over the cooking in the great outdoors.Maybe it’s because there is an element of danger involved when trying to find different ways to get the bbq going.When a man naturally volunteers to do the Barbie,certain chain of events take place.
1/A Barbie always goes well with several beers lined up for the cook.This enables him to clear his mind of reason and to have a nethandral attitude way of thinking.The grunts and moans are noticeable,which tells you he is now converted to caveman.
2/Always allow the nethandral man to start the fire,lt’s part of his make up to put as much inflammable liquid on the charcoal and set fire to it.Grunts and moans are followed by..ooh!,what happened,while he is standing there with a charred face and singed hair with smoke rising from his head.
3/Never intervene at this point,because you will get comments like..l know what l am doing..or now look what you made me do.
4/As the Barbie is under way in a hours time with his noticeable self inflicted injuries.The beers that were lined up for him were there for the sole purpose to numb the pain when he inflicts injuries on himself.
5/He loves cooking on flame and not heat,which is still a mystery to this type of thinking.Maybe it has something to do with his ancestors make up to not understanding the signs what flames can do to the meat.
6/When the cooked meat is ready to eat and is being dished out by Mr netheradral man with such a smile of achievement,and you haven’t the heart to tell him it’s gross.Then you secretly feed it to the dog that is waiting under the table.
The Woman’s routine in preparing a BBQ is completely different to the man’s way

1/Woman goes and buys the right amount and what is needed
2/She prepares all the salads side dishes and the desserts
3/She prepares all the meats by marinading them in time for the Barbie in the right tray with all the necessary implements for cooking and at the same time waiting on hand and foot for the eager nethandral man at the BBQ with lots of beer
4/Woman has done her part,and now man has to ruin it by placing the meat on the Barbie without the woman's instructions,because she has disappeared into the house to organize all the plates and cutlery on the tables.
5/She disturbed by the smell of burning flesh and drops everything to tell the caveman that the meat is burning on the grill and the top of his head.The caveman grunts and ask if she could bring another beer while he is dealing with the flames on his head and the Barbie that are ten foot high at this point.He always says it is under control,while he still has a beer in his hand.
6/When the flames recedes he takes the charred meat of the grill and hands it to the woman,looking like a negative.
7/The woman then prepares all the salads side dishes and placing the cutlery next to the dishes.She brings the meat to the table in large bowls positioned neatly in the middle of the table.
8After the meal,the guests thanked him for a lovely BBQ and all his efforts.
9/The woman just looks on without any praises from the guest
10/After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes,while the man is telling jokes that are in the dark ages.
11/Woman notices a fireball coming from the BBQ,because of nethandral man decided he'll get the party going by pretending to be a flame swallower,by throwing on more inflammable liquid he spat out from his mouth.He uses the hosepipe to douse out the flames that is coming out from his mouth and the Barbie,but woman's natural instincts tell her to call the fire brigade and instantly thinking of having an affair with a fireman.
The most important thing to remember when organizing a BBQ,is to let woman do all the work ,while man can sit back and relax with his mates,because health and safety issues are involved here.
 

KKOB

Completely Chillaxed
There is no pleasing some women!
Free barbecues to all that can go and collect them.


You can get a free BBQ from any of the following UK stores.

ASDA, Morrison's, Costco, Kwik Save, Somerfield, Aldi, Sainsbury, Tesco, Iceland, Lidl

and the following stores in Turkey

AZDA, ALDA, BiM, Migros, Carrefour, Tansas, Kipa, SOK, Dia, Genpa, Tespo

All BBQs come with a higher shelf which can be used for keeping things warm!

PLEASE NOTE: Some stores may charge a £1 or 1 TL administration fee.

If you wish to see a picture of this product please scroll down.



FreeBBQ.jpg
 

GnD

Member
There is no pleasing some women!
PASH

Only I put the meat on and off the BBQ too! (I have too veggies so they won't trust Dad to not use the lamb tools on their burgers!)

very funny loved it
yours too Bob
 

carolk

R.I.P
There is no pleasing some women!
You must have the life of Riley Pash lol!!! :biggrin1:

Its a good job none of you are married/live with me cos, if a man says I'll barbecue I do nowt - not even the shopping!! :hehe:
 

PASH

Member
There is no pleasing some women!
You must have the life of Riley Pash lol!!! :biggrin1:

Its a good job none of you are married/live with me cos, if a man says I'll barbecue I do nowt - not even the shopping!! :hehe:

I Wish !! I am a slave to the kitchen sink whilst the "Mem" does her makeup and nails :77wu:
 

Sunny Seasider

Life is so precious
There is no pleasing some women!
You must have the life of Riley Pash lol!!! :biggrin1:

Its a good job none of you are married/live with me cos, if a man says I'll barbecue I do nowt - not even the shopping!! :hehe:

I'm with you Carol, def do nowt and sit back and enjoy the vino, lol
 

red

.....
There is no pleasing some women!
good on you carol and Sunny, I'm afraid I let the side down:) Pash and bob could have been spying on our usual BBQ antics. I worry he won't get it all done properly so I have to 'help' oh and another TLFer is worse, last Saturday I had to turn Griff's (ringspanner) chicken, and I bet it was Dawn who made all the dip, salad and spuds:)
 

carolk

R.I.P
There is no pleasing some women!
good on you carol and Sunny, I'm afraid I let the side down:) Pash and bob could have been spying on our usual BBQ antics. I worry he won't get it all done properly so I have to 'help' oh and another TLFer is worse, last Saturday I had to turn Griff's (ringspanner) chicken, and I bet it was Dawn who made all the dip, salad and spuds:)

Red, you big softie! lol. :D
 

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