Andy

Senior Member
Some Stupid Americans
A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why their country is in trouble!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you
look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ," Without trying to make
her look stupid, I calmly explained, " Cape Cod is in Massachusetts ;
Capetown is in Africa ," Her response - click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He
said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't
lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to
see England from Canada ?” I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close
on the map.

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent
a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a
1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car,
he said, I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
between gates to save time."

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how
it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to
Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of
Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally,
I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in
with the airline they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm
overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a
minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained
the city code for Fresno CA is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a
destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked "Would it be cheaper to fly
to California , and then take the train to Hawaii?"

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
"How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant,
to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of
these planes have numbers on them."

10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked
if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl, on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah,
whatever, smart A_ _!"

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've
been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double
checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he
said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have
accepted my American Express!"

12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make Reservations, "I want to
go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I
said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what flights do
you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm
sorry ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't
find a Rhino anywhere. The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map! "So I scoured a map of the state of
New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The
reply? Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".
 

RIK

Member
Some Stupid Americans
This is true. I was in Chicago on business and having a beer at the hotel bar.The guy stood next to me said "Say, where are you from" I said Manchester England. He thought about this for 30 seconds and then said " Say, what state is that in " Yes, I know but it's true.

Ian
 

zakkum

Member
Some Stupid Americans
A few years ago I had the pleasure of meeting a group of American tourists visiting Britain. They were doing a worldwind tour of Europe which included London, Stratford upon Avon, the Lakes etc. The one comment which I always remember with a smile was "we just love your country and it is so handy for the mainland".
zakkum
 
Some Stupid Americans
Reminds me of a joke years ago,

A texan taking a trip thru Glasgow talking to a Glaswegian, they came to the Clyde tunnel, the glaswegian said that it was over a mile long, the texan replied that they had tunnels that were 3 miles long, next the glaswegian pointed out the new Hamden football stadium, which held 65,000 people, the texan replied that they had stadiums that held over 200,000 people, the glaswegian then mentioned that there were bout 600,000 people living in glasgow,, to which the texan replied that they had small townships with over a million people in them'
Just then a fire engine passed them, siren blareing, n lights flashing, to which the texan said, is that your fire engines, the glaswegian retorted, naw

Thats the windae cleaner, he,s late fur his work.

Cheers Peter
 

KKOB

Completely Chillaxed
Some Stupid Americans
war-1.jpg
 
Some Stupid Americans
A few years ago we were on holiday in France and were staying at a hotel in Arromanches and were having dinner in the hotel. The staff didn't speak much English and the only other English speakers besides us was a family from Texas.

They called the waiter over to their table, who they obviously thought was deaf, and in loud voices asked what sort of fish it was. (The menu just said poissons
de jour). The waiter stood there and we could see that he was struggling to reply and said "fish from the sea." We fell about laughing.

Sue and Chris
 

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