juco

Member
slightly off topic but geeky enough I hope :-)
Dear Technical Support

18 months ago, I upgraded to GirlFriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run GirlFriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, GirlFriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2003.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources.

This conflict with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Mercedes hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.
 

GarryP

Member
slightly off topic but geeky enough I hope :-)
I saw this one or a variation of this a couple of years back ... Still very funny
Is it true that WIFE stands for :

Washing, Ironing, Food and Entertainment !!
 

thurstan

Member
slightly off topic but geeky enough I hope :-)
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed
itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting
and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back
to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User
 

thurstan

Member
slightly off topic but geeky enough I hope :-)
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is
designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete
Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or
purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow
this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I
recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest
installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software
augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will
return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt
3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support
 

Jaycey

African Refugee
slightly off topic but geeky enough I hope :-)

Alexa finally loses her sh1t and demands a ‘f***ing please ...


Amazon’s Alexa has finally lost her shit today and demanded a ‘f***ing please’ after years of verbal abuse at the hands of its ungrateful owners...

 

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