GnD

Member
Responses to Ignorance?
In the last week I have been trodden on, knocked into with heavy shopping, an extremely heavy fire door left to slam shut on my backward twin sister and other incredibly rude occurrences towards my children.

I know that one of my faults is if any of this occurs to me I can just about keep quiet, BUT if my sister, or my children are on the receiving end of any of this rudeness I calmly but firmly verbally state my disapproval of their rudeness.

Now the responses even from older people are so very shocking and ignorant I am seriously thinking I might get attacked one day.

In my mind I am defending them, esp Kimmy her arm was really hurt today and she has a metal wrist as it is, she is very accident prone and doesn't has good reflexes.

I am not sure I can keep from pointing out to some ignorant individual their total lack of consideration. I sort of morph into a Hyde character and cannot keep calm. It's definately on the increase and normal people turn into foul mouthed thugs??

What do others do?
 

Tess

Member
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Hard to say GnD, takes all sorts to make a world. Have to agree I have zero tolerance for those who stomp about being rude, being obnoxious and generally thinking the world owes them a living.
I personally feel manners are not heavy to carry but not all share the same view. Like yourself I find it hard to keep stum when others deliberately go out of their way to be rude, push and shove and think being nasty is a virtue.
I have on occassions spoken out, sometimes I have been ignored other times I get a cheeky retort, then I let it wash over me, if you take it on board too much it can manifest into something hard to bear.
I make no apologies for being a nice person and them who don't like it can turn their bum cheeks to it, I feel better when I am courteous, kind and helpful, those who don't - well that's their problem.
I also think when in a shop and purchasing something the staff sometimes leave a lot to be desired, I work with the public and find my day goes in quicker and more relaxed if I treat everyone with respect and with a friendly smile, having said all of that I'm NO pushover as in the past some have realised to their regret.
If I receive bad manners on the telephone, in person I sweetly ask with a smile - "Is their anyone here today not having a bad day, may I deal with them please ?" - the reaction is unreal LOL!!! you really should try it!!
GnD, try not to let them worry you, truly, it is not worth the stress, just remember it is they who have problems, let them sort it.
 
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Responses to Ignorance?
Hi Debbie when people are ignorant theres no answer to them really..you cant change them. But as you say when its happening to people you are looking after ..then i believe you should challenge bad behaviour and it can be done without a slanging match...ignorant types usually cant stand up to controlled assertiveness and slink away.
xxx
 

Martyn

Member
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There's not much you can do. Thursday we took the grandchildren to Cadburys World and went on the tour(excellent) and the whole way round on the walk we were bumped into by the children of all ages of this extended family, the mother said absolutely nothing. My wife said to her that her child was pushing at one of the stopping point resulting in my 5 year old grand daughter banging her mouth on a counter where a demonstration was going on. The woman just denied there was any pushing but it just went on the whole time. :frown::ranting:
 

jcrian

Member
Responses to Ignorance?
Everyday life has certainly changed to when we were young, when we taught about respect and right from wrong. Soceity has certainly changed in the last 40 years.

The Labour government with the assistence of all the 'do gooders ' have given us a legal system that says it is alright to do anything wrong ,you can get away with it and there is no deterrent anywhere.

normal people turn into foul mouthed thugs

No not you Debbie although you must feel like it at times with the inconsideration you are experiencing.
 
Responses to Ignorance?
Hi Debbie,
I am terrible and really worry Sue because I react all the time!!!
Tel kids or teenagers off if they drop litter even to the extent of throwing it back in their cars!!
Go over if I see a couple rowing where the girlfriend seems to be coming off worse and ask her if she is ok!!
Help someone in trouble in the street whether injured or distressed etc.

I HATE people who will just walk past because its nothing to do with them!!
Of course it is because its a fellow human being in trouble.

People live in their own little bubble and avoid anything that may spoil normal life.
If I was dying in the street from a heart attack ,I would hope that somebody would stay with me and phone an ambulance so if I dont do the same, thats double standards to me.
There have been many documented events in many countries where fellow humans in trouble are screaming for help and good old Joe Public just walks by even to the extent of car owners sounding their horns because someone has collapsed in the road.

Anyway Debbie I do challenge all bad behaviour and situations and am sorry for your weeks experiences but there are ups and downs really. On another day you see an act of kindness by a teenager so there is a balance sometimes and we know some great kids and mothers who care enough to impose discipline.I wouldnt even let my grandson behave badly to others and its not right!!
Hope next week is better for you anyway
 
Responses to Ignorance?
Hi Debbie,
I am terrible and really worry Sue because I react all the time!!!
Tel kids or teenagers off if they drop litter even to the extent of throwing it back in their cars!!
Go over if I see a couple rowing where the girlfriend seems to be coming off worse and ask her if she is ok!!
Help someone in trouble in the street whether injured or distressed etc.

I HATE people who will just walk past because its nothing to do with them!!
Of course it is because its a fellow human being in trouble.

People live in their own little bubble and avoid anything that may spoil normal life.
If I was dying in the street from a heart attack ,I would hope that somebody would stay with me and phone an ambulance so if I dont do the same, thats double standards to me.
There have been many documented events in many countries where fellow humans in trouble are screaming for help and good old Joe Public just walks by even to the extent of car owners sounding their horns because someone has collapsed in the road.

Anyway Debbie I do challenge all bad behaviour and situations and am sorry for your weeks experiences but there are ups and downs really. On another day you see an act of kindness by a teenager so there is a balance sometimes and we know some great kids and mothers who care enough to impose discipline.I wouldnt even let my grandson behave badly to others and its not right!!

Hope next week is better for you anyway

Terry you sound like an incarnation of my dear long gone dad..i used to cringe when i was young because he couldnt mind his own business and wouldnt stand by when there was any pushing or shoving or bad language or bullying... i can look back and know he was a one off(apart from you !) and i'm glad he was my father.
İ feel really upset for Debbie as she is one of the nicest most caring people that İ have 'met' and İ know she must have been really stressed to post as she has.
 
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Responses to Ignorance?
There's not much you can do. Thursday we took the grandchildren to Cadburys World and went on the tour(excellent) and the whole way round on the walk we were bumped into by the children of all ages of this extended family, the mother said absolutely nothing. My wife said to her that her child was pushing at one of the stopping point resulting in my 5 year old grand daughter banging her mouth on a counter where a demonstration was going on. The woman just denied there was any pushing but it just went on the whole time. :frown::ranting:

Sounds just like Willy Wonka's factory ...
 

JEANNIE

Going to get Thinner
Responses to Ignorance?
My hubbie is like you Tell, won't let anyone off with anything.


I just say "civility costs nothing"



Jeannie
 

DAVIDO

Member
Responses to Ignorance?
yes i agree terry,
i think that if someone needed help i wouldnt walk away but would try to help ,and personelly cant stand to see bad manners or bad behaviour. its amazing though to find that if i am shopping and am friendly and polite and open a door for someone with a smile , how it cheers you and them up .manners and a smile cost nothing but it can cheer up your day.
davido
 

Sailor

Member
Responses to Ignorance?
"What goes around comes around". That's what I like think when people are rude etc.If someone knocked into me I would think to myself be careful crossing the road, you might get "knocked into!"But that's the evil streak in me. A stare and a smile usually works for me though.
 
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Responses to Ignorance?
yes i agree terry,
i think that if someone needed help i wouldnt walk away but would try to help ,and personelly cant stand to see bad manners or bad behaviour. its amazing though to find that if i am shopping and am friendly and polite and open a door for someone with a smile , how it cheers you and them up .manners and a smile cost nothing but it can cheer up your day.
davido
You are absolutely right.
Its the same lift that an hours exercise at the gym does!
Difficult to explain but being friendly and helping people with a smile is such a buzz as you say.
The giver gets a kick out of it like the recipient and BOTH are happy.
Seriously what is the point of being here if you live just within the confines of your family and dont interact with others or take any notice of them,consider or help them.Its a very narrow existence.
Davido is quite right
 
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GnD

Member
Responses to Ignorance?
I don't have any problem in any way with being kind/nice/helpful. My point is that WHILE doing so I've been suffered varying degrees of bad, rude or downright intimidating verbal responses.

HA certainly don't expect a Thank You these days, that is not why you do it I know but hey?

I feel these days when I do something nice I give some of myself away?

One time I flew out of my car as I heard squealing and saw some way off an old lady on the ground. I literally picked her up, it was in really heavy rain. My Rachael flew out of car too and held an umbrella over us. She was so in shock! I partially carried her to her home and asked her if she had any friends, that I could call from outside her house, on my mobile, so someone could make her and tea and stay with her. Then and there she then doubted my intentions. She said there were none close so I gave my mobile number to call if she needed someone, as I was just around the corner for at least the next two hours. Have to say I do genuinely understand this one, but her turnaround made sad to the core for today's society and that someone could doubt me.

Don't get me wrong I would help the same again over and over but all these additional recent scenarios to which I am referring, occurred while helping or opening doors with a smile, theoretically and literally speaking.

I have calmed down and will just get on with it and could not stop speaking/helping out if my life depended upon it, but I do feel that being nice is seen as weak and you can be walked over more because of it.

It's nice to know I'm not alone, just wish I wasn't so outnumbered.

A best friend once said to me, " Debbie you cannot pick up every waif and stray!" Then broke friends two weeks later?

The best post I have read on here in ages is one of Shirley's.

This and all these posts give me hope and I'll keep up my part in maintaining a HUMANE considerate world. Cheers Shirley your RAM must be megabytes!

2500 years ago Socrates wrote....
''The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they allow disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children now are tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”
 

Tess

Member
Responses to Ignorance?
Debbie, you are what you are - A good decent human being, never be ashamed of it, it is a marvellous attribute - Good for you !!!!
Not a sign of being weak, a sign of greatness!!!
I understand totally where you are coming from, society needs more folks like you, keep doing what you do best, sod the saddo's !!!!!
 
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Sunny Seasider

Life is so precious
Responses to Ignorance?
Debbie, you are what you are - A good decent human being, never be ashamed of it, it is a marvellous attribute - Good for you !!!!
Not a sign of being weak, a sign of greatness!!!
I understand totally where you are coming from, society needs more folks like you, keep doing what you do best, sod the saddo's !!!!!

Well said Tess, if I get pushed, shoved about I just ask politely "Am I invisible", usually ends up with an apology, I always go about my daily life thinking, you never know what a person is dealing with in their lives, and try to accommodate that, but downright ignorance does irk me somewhat.
 
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Tess

Member
Responses to Ignorance?
Yip sometimes the crap some folks dole out - noooo need for the half of it, like you Lesley I think downright ignorance is not necessary or in any way needed.
Jeez we all have bad days, what would it be like if we all went round pushing, shoving and shooting our mouths off.
I feel life is much tooo short to be nasty, this is it, not a dress rehearsal, enjoy it and love it whilst you are sane and able, many a one the world over would like to be living it and enjoying it and sadly didn't make it.
 

Sunny Seasider

Life is so precious
Responses to Ignorance?
Yep, my Mum died when she was 31 and she was such a loving kind caring woman, I take after her. Whenever I go back to my home town and meet her friends, they always tell me, "your Mum was one of the best" and she was taken too soon.
 
Responses to Ignorance?
Cmon Debbie
Sometimes people have a bad week or month but pick yourself up and carry on as you are and want to be!!!
If now and again being nice rebounds on you so what???
Dust yourself down and think of all the good responses and dont dwell on a few bad ones.
I think I know you a little on here, Facebook, and as a neighbour and, having met you, this is out of character.
Just accept you have had a bad few weeks,stay as you are and march onwards.
You have a great family , hubbie and great daughters , so have a read of your quotation on Facebook and keep thinking of that!!
Take care
 
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DAVIDO

Member
Responses to Ignorance?
i can remember my dad with great fondness ,he was always a gentleman,and everone knew him for it .although i do understand what other members mean.people can take advantage of peoples politness , taking it as a weekness.i think that is why the tv awards for courage etc recently on tv, humble not only yourself but the celebraties , who realise that their award for best actor or singer etc is of very liitle importance to some of these brave people who appear on the show.i will try to help anone and am polite as i can be , but dont take it as a weekness cos taking the p , and i can be quite different.but its not the way personelly i like to be , but some people can bring out the worst in you

davido
 

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