What's the difference between a Tramp and an UK MP..???
One sits about on a bench all day, usually falling asleep, enjoys long liquid lunches and contributes absolutely nothing to Society.
The other's a Tramp.
The recently-separated, 54-year-old minister's arms flailed wildly - as a friend denied claims he tried to get out of paying the £5 entry fee by boasting he was the 'Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster'
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr Putin started competing in the latest series in January this year. Over the course of the show he has baked sweet buns, four-corner kulebiaka, king vatrushka and liver pirozhki.
Last week’s final brought a close to a tumultuous series.
In week 4 Mr Putin was told he was in the drop zone by head judge and famed baker of black bread, Paul Khabarovsk.
Week 5 saw the unprecedented introduction of a a new judging panel following the deaths of the old panel in a freak accident when they were mistakenly locked in the back of a van with a hungry bear.
The final began with contestants baking kulebiakas arkhangelsk style. However, the round was cut short after contestant and bookies favourite Anna Tefi accidentally cut her hands off whilst making a meringue base for her pavlova.
The show stopper saw contestants baking sauerkraut pie. The round had just got underway when the remaining finalist, Konstantin Konstantan, accidentally shut his head in the gas oven whilst trying to turn it on.
This left Mr Putin to be crowned champion, an honour he graciously accepted by stripping to the waist and beating his chest.
One Kremlin watcher told us, “Celebrity Great Russian Bake Off is one of the most watched shows in Russia. Mr Putin was obviously trying to broaden his appeal to a key voter demographic.”
Mr Putin is expected to appear on Strictly Come Cossack Dancing this winter.
Brexit is actually going really well so far insisted the government today, as the country runs out of fuel, food, and workers, while enjoying ongoing struggles with border control and a lack of a trade deal with the US.