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bickern

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PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'


I took my Biology exam last Friday.

I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers


A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually.


I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.

When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said 'Nope, your're still black'


Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.

I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!


Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away.But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!


Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.


I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going to take that.



Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back your're in that feckin basket.



I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong.

The question was Where do women have the curliest hair??
Apparently the answer I should have given was Fiji .
 

nanamo

Member
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
Oh, cant wait to read the comments which will follow this post.
 

parrot

Member
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
The commissars will mark your card and you'll be up against the wall shortly.
 

SLEEPY

Member
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
Great stuff Norman.
Out of interest have you been ticked off.
I have some good material but my mod pen friends would be all over me if I posted.
 

Yalides

Am I pretty ?
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
Great stuff Norman.
Out of interest have you been ticked off.
I have some good material but my mod pen friends would be all over me if I posted.

So have I UNBELIEVABLY....
 

Briand

Member
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
Enjoyed the laugh we should have more of these without being branded keep em coming

Briand.
 

clatchyrock

Member
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
Strange, but I found this a lot more enjoyable than the Lithium Mood Control message-but is it normal to smile and giggle at Norman's message or should I go and see a doctor who would probably prescribe Lithium!!
 

Yalides

Am I pretty ?
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque..
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
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During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
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Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor
balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "what's up Abdul, won't it start?"
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Last one in this list removed as really really bad taste.
 

SLEEPY

Member
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
As Philip is away for the week end could one of the Mods agree that any infactions incurred for contributions to this thread are sent to his account.

I am sure he will not notice a few more.
 

Yalides

Am I pretty ?
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
As Philip is away for the week end could one of the Mods agree that any infactions incurred for contributions to this thread are sent to his account.

I am sure he will not notice a few more.

:95im:
 

tykatem

Available in sarcastic to
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
I have a new pick up line that works every time. It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them.
Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'

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I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.
Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I thought it did.

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whats the difference between amy whinhouse and jack daniels?

jack daniels comes alive when you add coke !

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My dog chased a black man down the street the other day and bit him. The Police told me that I had to get the dog chipped or he would have to be put down.

So I got him chipped and now he operates at 16 NiggerBytes a second.

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I went round to my mates house last night.... his wife was sat there with their new born baby

She asked me if Id like to wind it

I thought that was a bit harsh ....... So I gave it a dead leg instead
 

Yalides

Am I pretty ?
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"

The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.

"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body." said the father.

The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet in the desert."

"So tell me then," added the boy.

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are you living in Bradford , England , and still wearing all this ****?"
 

tykatem

Available in sarcastic to
PC Brigade - Do not read you will most likely be offended.
They say the best thing about an argument is the make up sex afterwards. Which is why I hate falling out with my dad.

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‎3 office girls, in a lift, notice a stain on the wall. The redhead says "That looks like cum!" The brunette sniffs it & says "Smells like cum too!" The blonde licks it & says "Well, it's nobody from our office!!"
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