March Jokes '21.
Jack decided to tie the knot with his long time Girlfriend.

One evening, after the Honeymoon, he was cleaning his Golf Shoes.

His new Wife was standing there watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.

"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are Married. I think it's time you quit Golfing. Maybe you should Sell your Golf Clubs"..??

Jack gets this horrified look on his Face.

She says. "Darling, what's wrong"..??

"You're sounding like my Ex-Wife."

"Ex-Wife." She Screams.

"I didn't know you were Married before"..???


"I Wasn't". He replied.
 

mollag

Kipper restorer
March Jokes '21.
Just had a Guy shout to me "The luck of the Irish be with you"
Had to shout back, "I take it you know very little of Irish history then ?" :rolleyes:
 
March Jokes '21.
When you have to go to Crown Court.



And you put your fate in the Hands of 12 people, who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury Duty.
 

Jaycey

African Refugee
March Jokes '21.
A young couple were on their honeymoon and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool.
They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased.
As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that the bikini was too large, and the top and bottom kept coming off. As they were the only ones in the pool, she and her husband would laugh and playfully retrieve the bikini from the pool's bottom.
That evening they dressed for dinner and headed to their hotel's elegant restaurant, where they were seated next to a huge aquarium.
Strangely, the aquarium was devoid of any aquatic life.
When the bride asked their waiter why the aquarium had no fish in it, he smiled broadly and said, "That's not an aquarium...that's the swimming pool!"
 
March Jokes '21.
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline!
 

mollag

Kipper restorer
March Jokes '21.
I was feeling poorly after me Virus Jab, so I called in a local Hostelry, for a boost, the Landlady recommended a "Scouse Toddy" made with a double espresso mixed with a double Buckfast, ------i had driven halfway home before i realised i had forgotten my car! 🥴
 

mollag

Kipper restorer
March Jokes '21.
I couldn't find that thing that peels the potatoes and carrots, so I asked the kids if they had seen it
Apparently she left me yesterday.............. :confused:
 

Latest Posts

Top Bottom