bickern

Member
March Jokes 2020
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
 
March Jokes 2020
A young man, with a promising career ahead of him,

Decided to marry a respectable Convent Girl, untarnished with the Sins of Contemporary Society.

After the Wedding Service, the Bridal Couple had to drive through the more unsavoury areas of the City on the way to the Reception.


"William, what are those Women doing Leaning against those Lampposts"..???


"Oh, those are just Tarts, who Hire their Bodies out for Sex at Fifty Pounds a time"..


"Wow, Fifty Pounds a Time...!" exclaimed the Blushing Bride,



"The Monks, use to only give us an Apple”..
 

merpip

Happy Member
March Jokes 2020
Two thieves break into a house. Once inside, they sneak into the master bedroom and tie up the naked woman they find in there:
A startled, naked man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening and says. "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go."

The thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were. One of them says. "Wow, you must really love your wife in order to beg like that."

The man replies. "I do and she will be home any minute!"
 
March Jokes 2020
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it..



Then how bad can it be..???
 
Last edited:
March Jokes 2020
I've been having trouble Sleeping lately..

But last night I went out like a Light.

Hence,

I've being arrested, for only Wearing a Lampshade on my Head.


And with a long piece of Flex, trailing out my ass.
 
March Jokes 2020
Did You Know :-

I've become completely Independent.

Ever since my Wife left me last week.



That's the second Load of Washing, I've put in the Microwave this morning.
 

merpip

Happy Member
March Jokes 2020
A very nice, innocent Australian woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex with another woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.

She ends up corresponding with Scotty Greer, who is an average golfer and who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback and he has no experience with women. They meet and she is very happy with him; she feels that they are perfect for each other. Eventually they end up getting married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked. All the furniture from the room is piled in one corner.

"What happened?" she asks.

"I've never been with a woman" he says, "But if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get!".....
 
March Jokes 2020
Heard someone on the Local Radio.

Saying Britain will remain calm about the Corona19 Virus.

Remember the good old days.

When,


People phoned the Police, cos 'KFC' ran out of Chicken.??
 
March Jokes 2020
A Man goes into a Bakers and asks for 2 Bread Rolls..??

The Shop Man picks them up with the Tongs and puts them in a Paper Bag,

He then asks for 2 Cakes the Shop Man picks them up with the Tongs and puts them in the Bag.

The Man says :-

"It’s nice to see you don’t Handle the Food"..

The Shop Man says :-

"Nothing in my Shop is Handled by Human Hand"..

He then noticed a Piece of String hanging out of the Shop Man's Trousers and asks :-

"What is that Piece of String for"..???

The Shop Man says :-

"When I need a Pee. I just pull on the String and it Pops Out"..

"That’s OK" Says the man.

"But how do you put it Back"..???

"That’s No Problem", says the Shop Man.


"I just Use the TONGS"..
 

merpip

Happy Member
March Jokes 2020
A while back, I picked up a lovely date at her parents home:

I'd scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant.

She ordered the most expensive items on the menu.

Oysters. Lobster. Champagne - The whole nine yards

I asked her. "Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?"

"No." She replied. "But my mother's not expecting a shag tonight."

I said. "Would you care for dessert?”
 

Latest Posts

Top Bottom