ceemac

Shake It Baby...
Kids Just Know
BobtheNob, you should be ashamed of yourself, giving us all that erroneous information about the bible. These kids know how it really was;

'In the first book of the Bible, Guinness, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

Noah built the ark, which the animals came on in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went upon Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The Fifth Commandment is humour thy mother and father.

The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. :hehe:

Moses died before he ever reached the UK.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.

King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.


When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an emasculate contraption. :lmao:

St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

According to the Bible, a Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony. :larf:



C
 

bobthenob

Non Active Member
Kids Just Know
"heh",Good one Ceemac.And Jonah was used for bait to catch the big fish to feed all the people of the land.
But unfortunately,God used the wrong bait,because the big fish threw up on the shore.leaving Jonah on the shoreline,looking like a sick parrot.
 
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EVELYNNE

evelynne
Kids Just Know
that was great and reminded me of my freinds children practising their school assembly at Primary school

They sang with great gusto

Who built the ARk, No one No one, No one built the Ark !!

We never put them right !!!!
 

pebble

Member
Kids Just Know
OHHHH Ceemac, you do know how to lighten it up tooooo.
these are funny. the things kids say always leave me in chuckles.......
thanks for my mid night giggle......
 
Kids Just Know
I asked my son to find something upstairs for me the other day, when he came down he said "I cant find it, its like looking for a pin in a hadelstack". LOL

Jane
 

Akasya

Postless Pointer
Kids Just Know
Glad that is straightened out i though Delilah led Tom Jones astray.

Steve.
 

Alan Fidler

Ceteris paribus
Kids Just Know
Ceemac, you've got me in pain... If i laugh much more my stitches are gonna burst..!
I've got to stop reading your posts.. hehehehe..

Alan.
 

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