Frankie T

July Jokes '21.
With a very seductive voice a wife asked her husband. "Have you ever seen

Twenty Pound note all crumpled up?"

"No" said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile unbuttoned the top three buttons of her

blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage created by a soft, silky

pushup bra and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Pound note.

He took the crumpled Twenty Pound note from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked "Have you ever seen Fifty Pound note all crumpled up?"

"No I haven't" he said, an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt, seductively

reached into her tight sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled Fifty pound note.

He took the crumpled Fifty Pound note and started breathing a little

quicker with anticipation.

"Now" she said "Have you ever seen 50,000 Pounds all crumpled up?"

"No way" he said becoming even more aroused and excited to which she


"Go look in the garage”.


Grey wisdom
July Jokes '21.
The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the ATO office.

The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the ATO finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'


Grey wisdom
July Jokes '21.
My boss yelled at me this morning, "It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?"
Yes, I said, "It's Friday!"

Frankie T

July Jokes '21.
A man walked into a tattoo shop.
"Good afternoon sir, what can we do for you?"
"Well, I'm really passionate about my home town, and want something done on my knuckles, you know?"
"No problem sir, what did you want exactly?"
"N-O-R-W-I-C-H on this hand, and C-I-T-Y-F-C on this one."

Frankie T

July Jokes '21.
I don't know what's funnier to watch at wedding receptions.
My Uncle trying to dance like Michael Jackson,

or my dyslexic cousin trying to do the YMCA.


Grey wisdom
July Jokes '21.
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of dickheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexist twits. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!


July Jokes '21.
Sadly a true story

Decades ago big girl and me were in a charter flight Belfast to Corfu

Usual mixture of passengers including some real ultra chavs behind us

They were discussing which hotel they were staying in as there was quite a group of them who had met up and got pissed in the airport

They were shrieking with excitement as they discussed their destination hotel with each other as they all believed they were gonna be in same location

Excitedly chav after chav read out from their booking documents they too were staying at the Aoa Hotel Corfu

Hadn't the heart or decency to break it to them they were.......Allocated On Arrival


July Jokes '21.
Jaycey/ Ibrahim as a born and bred lad from Belfast I WISH it wasnt true

We had some numbnuts back there

Latest Posts

Top Bottom