Jan Jokes '21.
A Busty Blonde decides to learn and try Horse Back Riding unassisted without prior Experience or Lessons.

She mounts the Horse with great effort, and the Tall, Shiny Horse Springs into Motion.

It Gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the Busty Blonde begins to Slip from the Saddle.

Out of shear terror, she grabs for the Horse's Mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her Arms around the Horse's Neck, but she slides down the side of the Horse anyway.

The Horse g]Gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping Rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the Horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her Foot has become entangled in the Stirrup.

She is now at the mercy of the Horse's pounding Hooves as her Head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her Head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even Certain Death.

When all of a Sudden..?!?!?

*

Frank, the Wal-Mart manager. Runs out into the Mall Arcade, and shuts down the Horse Ride.
 
Jan Jokes '21.
I was in Tesco on the island of Guernsey the other day,

I asked a woman where are the Baked Beans..???

And she said on the next Isle.



So I quickly flew off, over to Jersey...!
 

mollag

Kipper restorer
Jan Jokes '21.
Some profound lock down pondering, too much time man :unsure:


1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.......
 
Jan Jokes '21.
I'm Feeling Pretty Depressed, Right Now. 1f641.png

Cos, I've just found out that my favourite Chip Shop.

You know the One.??

It's the one near the "Sellafield Nuclear Plant", has Closed Down.

Which is a real, great Shame,

*


Because, they used to serve, a lovely Leg of Cod..!
 

mollag

Kipper restorer
Jan Jokes '21.
Here on the IOM, five gaoled this week for virus infringement offences, The Police have the power to enter homes and forcibly remove folk, what isnt clear though, --is it a free service and can it be booked in advance? :unsure:
 

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