It is now Official
It has now been confirmed as Official !!

The Scottish International football team is CRAP

After last nights display the full International team and Manager should be sacked under the Trades Description


This is by a Scotsman, still living in Scotland


On second thoughts should this post or team really be in a Football thread.



Cheers

Sandy
 

Martyn

Member
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Well they were down to 10 men which made it an uphill struggle. I've not looked at the tables since before the match but you are still in it. Anyway hopefully you will qualify.
 

giglets

Member
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Sandy,


Couldn't agree more!

No passion and not a lot of skill by the players and a complete lack of a coherent game plan by the manager.

Oh well, all we have to do is take 3pts from the Dutch - no problem there, then!?!



Dave :5:
 

Mushroom

Member
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Sandy,

We didn't need official confirmation, the rest of us have known for years that they are crap !
 

JET

Member
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My Ian has declared it a national period of mourning; he would not look at the sports section in this mornings paper. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that the 2012 Olympics will now include female boxing and golf and by that time Scotland may find someone good at those particular sports; he suggested that some of the boxers were already playing for the football team (lol). Oh Dear! It`s going to be a very long weekend.......
 

Alan Fidler

Ceteris paribus
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Having watched enough of the England game to see the schoolboy errors our back 4 made I'd say we didn't perform any better than Scotland Sandy..
If it hadn't been for our midfield and strikers we'd have sunk to an embarrassing defeat ourselves and deserved it. I think half of them left their skills on the beach while on holiday this summer.
Still, Liverpool's Dutch contingent did well... lets hope they take that form into the Premiership this weekend.

Alan.
 

McDHibs

Member
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We were indeed pish

But for the un-initiated on our forum maybe I should explain Scottish International Football.

Method One (as done by most other footballing nations)

Win the easy games try not and loose the harder ones finish either 1st or 2nd in the league and qualify.

Method One (Scottish football)

Play the easy teams pretend they are suddenly brilliant so if we win we look good and if we loose “well they were quite a good side actually” or “blame Rangers and Celtic for having no youth set up”

Method two

Win against the best teams in the league (France home and away ) loose or draw against the worst (Iran) then sack our manager and appoint someone that no one else wants (apart from Walter Smith who’s arse the door just missed on his way back to Rangers)

Method Three

As Above but if Lapland beat Croatia by four and Belgium beat Italy by nine and we can scrape a draw against Outer Mongolia we can still qualify but “ Outer Mongolia were quite a good side actually” and if bloody Rangers and Celtic had a proper youth set up etc etc.

I rest my case

Mike
 

McDHibs

Member
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Botchy there are a number of teams that may win the Champions League this year. But I cant see Scotland winning it as its a club competition. If you are refering to Rangers or Celtic winning it well sorry as

no1

I am not psychic so if thats your point tell me

2nd

I am not living in Narnia where dreams might come true and everything in the world is rosie look in the back of your wardrobe and you will see.......... the back of your wardrobe.

Narnia does not exist neither does Rangers or Celtic's chances of winning the champions league.

Ian Harding where are you when I need a Jambo?

Mike
 
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JET

Member
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Sorry Mike - I can`t get Ian to respond to any messages from the outside world (lol); I even threatened to burn his bowls which he had endorsed with the Scottish Flag and he threw me a box of matches.

Unfortunately, since Craig Gordon left Hearts to join Sunderland, the only remaining English speaking member of the staff is the tea lady, who has quite a difficult time keeping the Lithuanian, Bosnian and Russian (submariners section) supplied with their specific national beveridges during the day and translating the rude remarks of the supporters directed toward the players; she pretends that most of the more suggestive crude remarks are in Gaelic, which she is unable to comprehend. She is also a Sunday School teacher and is having quite a stressful time.

Ian is of the opinion that the only thing that can save Scottish football is recruiting anyone with even a hint of Scottish cultural extract; whisky drinkers, children of Idi Amin (the Last King of Scotland), porridge eaters from HMP facilities or anybody whose name begins with Mc or Mac (he believes there are a few in Argentina).

I think he is just feeling a wee bit down Mike and he`ll pull out of it soon - I`ve alerted the Samaritans and hidden his Bus Pass......... Sorry it`s the best I could do.
 

ceemac

Shake It Baby...
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As of 5 August, Scotland are 24th in Fifa's World Ranking, ahead of the likes of Romania, Turkey, Republic of Ireland, Poland and indeed, Norway.

It's only a blip - I can see you recovering and shooting up into 23rd place nae bother.......


C
 

McDHibs

Member
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Ian is of the opinion that the only thing that can save Scottish football is recruiting anyone with even a hint of Scottish cultural extract; whisky drinkers, children of Idi Amin (the Last King of Scotland), porridge eaters from HMP facilities or anybody whose name begins with Mc or Mac (he believes there are a few in Argentina).

Very funny Jet and its not a bad idea. I was trying to cheer him up in my post, in-fact it was almost a hand accross the Edinburgh divide (almost).

Ceemac dont taunt us with your promise of 23rd can you imagine the number of nose bleeds that would happen if we reached that dizzie hieght.

As you can probably tell its no fun being the only Scot in the office.

Mike
 

JET

Member
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`as you can probably tell its no fun being the only Scot in the office`

Ian was surprised to learn that the Samaritans actually employed Scots (lol) and your work must have been really quite challenging this week. The last time he used them, in 1966....., the English voice at the other end was actually encouraging him to use the Forth Bridge to ensure a soft landing.........

He was also surprised to learn that we were so high up the national ratings and suggests that you may be confused with those ratings applying to the English speaking nations only and even Botswana, China, Ghana, Georga, Tashkent and a number of `istans have been placed above us. He thanks you for your kind thoughts and will help you to interpret any future press statements made by Yogi Hughes..........

I should mention that I am a Lancastrian (Liverpool) and know how you must suffer (lol).
 
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