In case you visit Yorkshire (Gods County)
With all the troubles about you might want to visit Gods County. Can't beat Yorkshire for welcoming and friendliness but just so you understand what people are on about:

1. “Be reight.” – I’m so desperately sorry to hear of the awful time you’re going through, but I have faith and hope that things will sort themselves out.

2. “‘Ey up!” – How the devil are you, old friend?

3. “Yer brew’s mashin’.” – This exceedingly strong and exceptionally tasty cup of Yorkshire Tea will be with you shortly.

4. “It’s chuffin’ roastin’ out.” – It is March bank holiday and therefore I will not need my coat until October.

5. “Bagsy ‘avin a croggy!” – I’m now officially the first person to be allowed a ride on the back of your bicycle.

6. “‘Ow much?” – Do you really mean to tell me that I won’t get change from a tenner for this round?

7. “‘Eez int’bog.” – He’s visiting the lavatory at the present moment.

8. “That’s proper champion, that, lad.” – My dear child, I’ve frankly never been more proud of you.

9. “Gi’us a butty.” – Please may I have one of those delightful looking cheese-and-pickle sandwiches?

10. “Gi’us a chuddy.” – Please may I have some chewing gum? Those cheese-and-pickle sandwiches seem to have given me slightly putrid breath.

11. “Gi’or, yer too cack-‘anded.” – Look, just let me take over the preparation of this Yorkshire pudding mix, you’re frankly too clumsy to be trusted with it.

12. “I’m chuffed t’bits wi’ that.” – This is quite possibly the best news I’ve ever received.

13. “That ruddy whippet ‘as took me cap down snicket!” – I say, that darned stereotypical northern dog has taken off with my equally stereotypical choice
of headgear down a narrow alleyway.

14. “Ahm fair t’middlin’.” – I’m not doing too badly, thanks.

15. “Ahm nobbut middlin’.” – I’m doing pretty badly, actually.

16. “‘E’s in fine fettle.” – He’s doing very well by all accounts – must have had a smashing trip to Skeggy.

17. “Tha’ knows.” – You understand, do you not?

18. “Tha’ll get a clip rahnd lug’oil if tha’ carries on like this.” – If you don’t stop with this fake Yorkshire accent nonsense, I’ll smack you in the head.

19. “Mind you visit yer nan this weekend, she’s getting reight mardy.” – Be sure to take the time to visit your grandma this weekend, she’s starting to get a bit annoyed with you.

20. “‘Appen ‘e’ll quit his mitherin’ if you buy ‘im a Landlord.” – Perhaps he’ll stop complaining so much if you get him a decent pint.

21. “Nah, ‘e’s allus mitherin’ about summat.” – That seems unlikely, he’s always complaining about something.

22. “Eeh, yer daft ha’peth.” – My god, you fool, you’ve made quite the mistake here.

23. “Stop nebbin’ in me diary, buggerlugs.” – Kindly stop prying into my private affairs, you idiot.

24. “Na’than thee, ‘ow’s tha’ lass?” – Why, hello, my friend, how the devil is your wife?

25. “Put wood in t’ole! Was tha’ born in a barn?” – Please shut the door. Where the dickens were you brought up that you think it’s OK to sit in a draft?

26. “Eeh, yer reight nesh.” – A draft? There’s no draft, you’re just a big southern softie who can’t handle a bit of cold.

27. “‘Ow do, my love?” – Why hello, m’lady.

28. “Tarra, ducky.” – I’m a bus driver/your grandmother/both, and I’m wishing you an affectionate farewell.

29. “There’s nowt s’queer as folk.” – People are truly, properly weird.

30. “‘Owt’s better than nowt.” – Well, it’s not quite the Sean Bean life-sized cutout I was hoping for, but I suppose this poster of him will do.

31. “‘E’s neither use nor ornament.” – That gentlemen serves quite literally no purpose on this earth.

32. “Where there’s muck, there’s brass.” – One can make a small fortune if one is willing to engage in dirty work.

33. “Did I ‘eckers like!” – Did I bunk off work to buy Def Leppard tour tickets? My god, of course not!

34. “Near as makes n’ matter.” – Well, it’s not quite a Yorkshire pudding of my mother’s standard, but let’s be real: All Yorkshire puddings are a thing of joy, so let’s not quibble.

35. “Eeh I’ll go t’foot of stairs!” – It’s snowing in May? My goodness, I’m really quite surprised by this turn of events.

36. “Eez nobbutta babbi.” – He’s only a small child, leave him be.

37. “Think on, soft lad.” – You’ll come to remember my advice one day, you foolish boy.

38. “That’s a threp in’t steans.” – Ain’t that a kick in the nuts.

39. “Sit thissen dahn, tha’s bin laikin all day.” – Sit down, you’ve been out playing all day and frankly, that can be exhausting.

40. “Ah reckon nowt ter that.” – I don’t think much of your advice to stop drinking after five pints. What the devil is wrong with you?

41. “‘E’s on pot duty.” – He’s doing the dishes tonight.

42. “And ahm ‘appy as a pig in muck.” – And I’m really quite pleased about that.

43. “Eeh, it’s black o’er Will’s mother’s.” – It looks like it’s about to piss it down over there.

44. “Wang it o’er.” – Please toss me that chunk of Wensleydale so that I can gnaw on it like an animal.

45. “It’s like Blackpool bloody illuminations in ‘ere.” – I am your father and it is my responsibility to remind that you have left one light on in the house.

46. “‘E’s soft int’ed.” – That young man isn’t especially smart.

47. “If tha’s ‘ad beef dripping for dinner tha’s not ‘avin’ a chippy tea.” – If you had a delicious hot midday meal, you’re certainly not being treated to chips for your evening meal.

48. “Tha’ meks a better door than window.” – Please could you get out of the way of the television so I can finish watching Corrie, you careless lump?

49. “‘E’s a reight bobby dazzler.” – Alex Turner really scrubs up nicely when he’s in a suit, no?

50. “‘Supwier?” – What the heck is wrong with that woman?

51. “Tin tin tin.” – That giant rocket firework you were planning to detonate? It’s not in the designated tin.

52. “Eeh by gum!” – I’m from London and I think I’m pretty funny right now.


To Young to be This Old
In case you visit Yorkshire (Gods County)


Am I pretty ?
In case you visit Yorkshire (Gods County)
Live north of the M4, no chance. Whitby is nice though....

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