enoch

Member
Idiot of the week
Sounds a bit like me going through Manchester Airport. Packed in our hand luggage we had a metal salt and pepper grinder ether side of a block of bacon 2 klo. In foil with a battery clock on top strapped together but the battery clock was ticking. Ive never seen security move so fast all around me sweat running down their brows. All I got was your bag what's in it when I told them there was a sigh of relief after the contents of the bag was checked.
 

SLEEPY

Member
Idiot of the week
Rooney’s barrister, referring to Rebekah Vardy’s agent’s phone that got dropped in the North Sea, says, “these messages are in Davey Jones’s locker aren’t they.”

Vardy turns to the judge. “Who is Davy Jones? I don’t know who that is.”
 

IbrahimAbi

Grey wisdom
Idiot of the week

Jaycey

African Refugee
Idiot of the week
Two for the price of one!

Civilian survivors from Mariupol and Melitopol are trying to escape to the relative safety of Zaporozhzhye. Russian military is stopping traffic on these roads demanding bribes and many travelers have been shot. Travel on any roads in Russian controlled areas is extremely hazardous.

One:

Our friend Ludmila made good her escape to her husband in the UK at the beginning of the war. We now learn that she is traveling from the UK back to Ukraine (2 weeks if she is lucky!) to collect a suitcase of clothes before returning to the UK (Another 2 weeks!). Madness!

Two:

Her husband for allowing it!
 

Mushroom

Member
Idiot of the week
Oh the Irony ?
Animal right activists have been sprayed with cow manure after deciding to make their objections on the roof of Darlington Farmers Auction Market.
I saw this happen in my teens when one of our local Farmers, Jess Lumb, had a visit of 6 caravans from the Pikeys onto his land.
They refused his polite request to move unless some coin of the realm came their way but Jess told them that he was due a delivery of liquid manure to spray onto the very field they had parked on within the next 2 days.
They thought he was bluffing, but as he was well known around our village for having a no-nonsense attitude and as a big bloke with 3 big sons, they were a bit of a force to reckon with. Word went around the village and updates were relayed to all interested parties (such as me) of the day of the tanker arriving.
When it did, an audience of about 200 locals watched as Jess took control of the spraying nozzle, gave the Pikeys one last chance to go. Still they refused and then it was showtime.
The vans, caravans, milk churns, washing on lines, dogs and anyone who hadn't sought refuge inside them were given a substantial spray down.
The locals were duly entertained and gave him a round of applause.
After he had finished, he said the next delivery was due in a couple of days and we all dispersed.
They had gone by the next morning.
No plod, No human rights infringements reported and I have always thought that the best way to highlight how unimpressed we might be with someone's actions isn't to shoot them or stab them, just spray them with manure.
 
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