yalimart

The Carnwath Massive
Humour, Rude not Racist
An elderly couple are having dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says to his wife, "It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for and your answer will never take all that away. But... I must know, did he have a different father?"The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, pauses for moment and then confesses. "Yes, he did.""Who was he?" he asks.The old woman drops her head, trying to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. She gulps down her wine and finally, she says, "You."
 

yalimart

The Carnwath Massive
Humour, Rude not Racist
Was watching a shocking movie about a 14 year old girl being stalked by a 31 year old man, the girls stepmother was furious because she wanted the 31 year old man too, anyway the 14 year old girl ran off and shacked up with a group of old miners! Utterly depraved! That’s the last time I watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!
 

Tenpin

The Yorkshireman
Humour, Rude not Racist
Was watching a shocking movie about a 14 year old girl being stalked by a 31 year old man, the girls stepmother was furious because she wanted the 31 year old man too, anyway the 14 year old girl ran off and shacked up with a group of old miners! Utterly depraved! That’s the last time I watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!

Explains a lot about SLEEPYs backstory.
 

Jaycey

African Refugee
Top Poster Of Month
Humour, Rude not Racist
A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne. The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne." "What a coincidence," said the farmer, who added, " It is a special day for me. I am celebrating." "It is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!" said the woman. "What a coincidence!" said the farmer. While they toasted, the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynaecologist told me that I was pregnant." "What a coincidence," said the man. "I am a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs." "This is incredible," said the woman. "What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?" "I used a different rooster," he said. "What a coincidence." Smiled the woman.

A Series of Coincidences
 

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