Frankie T

Member
Humour, Rude not Racist

I went to watch my son play football after school today.

During the game, the referee blew his whistle and said that my son was in an offside position.

I ran onto the pitch and said, "Listen here you boss-eyed cunt, you're a fucking prick, and you're lucky I don't punch you in the face."

The referee walked over and said, "Do you always speak to your son like this?"

 

Frankie T

Member
Humour, Rude not Racist
Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick your cigarette out the window, and you drive on for a couple of more miles, and then you smell something funny and you look over into the back seat and sure enough...

Grandma's fingering herself again.
 
Humour, Rude not Racist
I was driving down the Motorway with my Wife the other day and she said,


"I think those people in the Car next to us, are from another Country, possibly Wales"..???


I said, "Why Is That"..???


She says, "Well, the Kids in the Car are writing on their Misted Window".



And it says...



"stit ruoy su wohs"
 

Jaycey

African Refugee
Humour, Rude not Racist
A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the tomatoes won’t ripen. She goes to her neighbor and says, ”Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?” The man replies, ”Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.” She says to herself "Well, what the heck it can’t hurt to try it." Next day her neighbor asks how it worked. “So so,” she answers. “The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer.”
 
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