Humour, Rude not Racist
I saw an Elderly Lady at the Bus Stop earlier.

As the Bus pulled up I helped her on and sat her down on a Seat.

I sat next to her and asked, "You Going Anywhere Nice"..???

"I'm meant to be meeting my Daughter", she replied.

"Aww that's nice", I said. "Where are you Meeting Her"..???

She replied,



"Back there at the Bus Stop you nosey friggin idiot".
 

Frankie T

Member
Humour, Rude not Racist
Nextdoor's dog shat in our garden this morning, my wife told me to get the shovel and throw it over the fence.

I don't see what good that did as we still have dog shit in our garden and now the neighbours have our shovel.
 
Humour, Rude not Racist
I tried to sell my Thomas the Tank Engine train set at an Antiques Shop, earlier today.

"You would have got more for it. If the Fat Controller wasn't missing." Said the Shop Assistant.

"Yeah, you're probably right." I replied.

*


"Cos, he's much better that me, at Haggling."
 
Humour, Rude not Racist
Risque...!

Jon was excited about his New Rifle and wanted to try it out, so he went Bear Hunting.

He spotted a small Black Bear and shot it.

There was then a Tap on his Shoulder and he turned round to see an even larger Black Bear.

The Black Bear said,

"You've got two choices, I either Maul you to Death or we have Sex."

Jon decided to grin and bear it, so he Bent Over.

Even though he felt sore for Two Weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed Revenge.

He headed out on another trip, found the Black Bear, and shot it.

Immediately, there was another Tap on his Shoulder.

This time a big Brown Bear stood right next to him.


The Brown Bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices.

Either, I Maul You to Death or we'll have Rough Sex"..???

Again, Jon thought it was better to comply.

Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered.

Outraged, he headed back to the Woods, managed to track down the Brown Bear, and shot it.

He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a Tap on his Shoulder.

He turned round to find a gigantic Grizzly Bear standing there.

The Grizzly Bear said,

*


"Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the Hunting, do you"..?
 
Humour, Rude not Racist
The Wife turned to me during her Mother’s Funeral and hissed.

When we get home I'm going to make you fucking pay for this..?!?!?

I couldn't think what I'd done Wrong Now..???

The only thing I could think of..??

*


Was maybe, it's because I wasn't sharing my Popcorn and Party Poppers..??
 

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