ceemac

Shake It Baby...
How To Really Annoy People
These should really p*ss your workmates, colleagues, friends and family off.

I've tried a few myself heheh

  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
  3. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  4. Stomp on those little plastic ketchup packets.
  5. Insist on keeping your car windscreen wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
  6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
  7. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
  9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  10. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  12. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  13. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  14. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  15. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  16. Honk your horn and wave to strangers.
  17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  18. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  19. type only in lowercase.
  20. dont use any punctuation either
  21. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  22. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
  23. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  24. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
  25. Ask people what gender they are.
  26. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  27. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  28. Sing along at the opera.
  29. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  30. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
C
 

KKOB

Completely Chillaxed
How To Really Annoy People
31. When you're getting a *ollocking from your boss, wait for the flack to die down a bit and then ask him if you can take a moment to reflect on "The friend we have in Jesus".

32. Answer all questions with "I'm afraid not, but I CAN offer you councelling"
 

Mushroom

Member
How To Really Annoy People
I had a mate who when speaking to someone face to face stood up, used to very gently rock a slight distance backwards and forwards when in fairly close proximity. We realised that the other person more often than not used to join in and we could see that over a few minutes worth of conversation they were both doing the same in the same direction.When my mate finished his 'act' the unwitting third party often used to continue doing the same for several seconds without realising it !!

The other one I once experienced, was one of the new lads going in for an interview with the boss. One of our 'supervisors' first went in to see the boss alone and told him that the new lad had a bit of an impediment which led to him speaking with a raised voice, almost shouting at times and to be prepared to match his volume so that he didn't feel awkward (totally false) He then took the new lad in to speak to the boss but beforehand told him to keep his voice raised as the boss was very hard of hearing and refused to wear an hearing aid (also totally false).
The conversation when it started could be heard by everyone in the building !
Happy days.
 

ted j

Member
How To Really Annoy People
Almost The same Thing happened Many Years Ago When I Worked in A Tile Warehouse. We Were Usually "Paired Up" to Pick Orders For Tile Distributors. When Mike, A New Lad Started, We Told His "Partner" That He Was Extremely Deaf, And Also told Dave (Mike's Partner), That Mike Was Too . We Kept It Up All Day With The Pair Shouting At Each Other At The Top Of Their Lungs. Then About 3-45pm, Dave said To Me,"F****ing Hard work This" And Mike said "I Know" , And The Look On Their Faces When They said, almost in Unison, "But I Thought YOU Were Deaf". ( No Offence Meant To any of Our Hearing Impaired Friends, By The Way) . It Was A "Bucket Of Steam" First Day Joke We Played On Newbies . Ted
 

ted j

Member
How To Really Annoy People
:20:Yes, it was loaded in for me, but i'll use lower case if that reads better(it doesn't to me) Ted.
 

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