Completely Chillaxed
Holiday Travel Complaints
Many of us have seen these before, but there are some classics amongst them. Worth repeating I think

Package Holiday complaints - doesn't it make you proud to be British!!!! (Survey by Thomas Cook and ABTA)

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons.
I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry.
I don't like spicy food at all.."

"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff..
When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

"The beach was too sandy."

"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure.
Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong.
He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned.
The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'.. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room.
We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant.
This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
Holiday Travel Complaints
When I worked in Princes Street in Edinburgh there was one that was going around ,that some American tourists had said "Wasn't it clever to build the castle so close to the train station" !!!


Completely Chillaxed
Holiday Travel Complaints
Here are a few American ones.

Passport Saga
I got a call from a Congress man, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain that he needed a passport. He interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.'

Without trying to make him lose face, I calmly explained, 'Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.' Her response - click, the phone went dead.

Map ReadingTravel Agent Jokes
A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we booked for him. I asked for details of what was wrong with the hotel in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I am looking at the map, and Florida is a very thin state!!!'

Bad Hair Day
A New Hampshire Congresswoman asked me to book her an aisle seat on the airplane. She did not want her hair to get messed up by being near the window.

More Map Reading
I got a call from a Lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible to see England from Canada?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'But they look so close on the map.'

Big Airport in Texas
An Aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if they could rent a car in Dallas. When I looked at the reservation, I noticed that they only had a one-hour stop-over Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car for just an hour, he said, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time.

Fastest Jet in America
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

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