Shake It Baby...
Giggle Time
Time for a laugh methinks...

These are actual letters sent to councils and housing associations;

"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off."

"I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage."

"...and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence."

"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off."

"My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand."

"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall."

"Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant."

"We are getting married in September and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house."

"I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."

"...50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy."

"I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers."

"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared."

"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink."

"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."

"Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it badly."

"I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6am his **** wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me."

"The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."

"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it."

"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night."

"Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife."

"I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction."

"This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2."

"My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it."

"...and he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore."

"...that is his excuse for dogs mess that I find hard to swallow."



Alan Fidler

Ceteris paribus
Giggle Time
:77wu::77wu::77wu: hilarious Ceemac... I'm in tears :crying: here... and almost choked on my chicken kiev..! :larf::larf::larf::larf::clap:


Giggle Time
This true story may give some a giggle

My friend recently went to America to visit family. Her aunty for a laugh had showed her and her sister some playgirl magazines. They laughed at a particular well endowed black man who was posing painted all red like the devil. She decided to take this magazine home to show her brother in law who is black.

Well because of the security searches at the airports she didn;t lock her case and had placed said magazine in the lid of the case. Of course the americans are very civil and leave a calling card when they search your case.

Well when she got home she had a calling card - left in the middle of the magazine !!

She was so ashamed of herself - i just laughed !


I Love Kleopatra Beach !
Giggle Time
Never laughed so much for ages !!! The dogs looking at me like i'm demented
Just what we needed in this wether Diane


Shake It Baby...
Giggle Time
I have to admit the tears were running down my face as I posted that - some very funny quotes there :hehe:


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