Football jokes

[Briand53]

The West Ham manager Pelegrini had a call from the London fire brigade to say there was a fire at the London City ground, he asked if it had reached the kitchen, they said it hadn't reached the cups yet.

 

[Derek Payne]

A statement from Frank Lampard.

"Friends and family mean everything to me" said the former Chelsea midfielder.


"When i arrived home after being sacked John Terry was there consoling Christine. They were both red faced and out of breath with emotion".


Friends for life J.T.

 

[Derek Payne]

I was 8 years old when it happened.

Uncle Terry came into my room, The Sun was shining and I was looking forward to another nice day.

But, young as I was, I knew what his intentions were straight away. I was small for my age, but still I fought as hard as I could.

He was just so big, so strong, He forced me to do that terrible thing and I was powerless to stop him,

The Shame, hurt pain and confusion ruined my childhood and to this day I still wake up crying about it.

But I was luckier than some,



That was the one and only time I had to wear an Everton shirt.

 

[Derek Payne]

Top scientists have predicted that by 2030 you’ll never be any more than 3 meters away from a Chelsea manager.

 

[Derek Payne]

 

[Derek Payne]

What do you say to a Man Utd fan, with a good looking Bird on his Arm.?



"Nice Tattoo".