Frankie T

Member
Dec Jokes '21.
To anybody who's scared of this wind, just imagine how those poor little spiders must be feeling,

and to anybody scared of spiders, they're flying now.
 
Dec Jokes '21.
I was thinking to myself today..???


That I haven't been paying my Wife enough attention lately,


So today I gave her a Ring..?!?!?


Friggin ungrateful Cow,


She screamed at me, for Ringing her from The Black Lion,


Well, I won't be making that mistake again.
 
Dec Jokes '21.
An Amish lady was driving her Horse-Drawn Buggy to town, with her young Son when she was stopped by a Highway Patrol Officer.

"I'm not going to Cite you," said the Officer,


"I just wanted to warn you that the Reflector on the Back of your Buggy is broken and it could be Dangerous"..??


"I thank thee," said the Amish lady, "I shall have my Husband repair it as soon as we return home."


"Also," said the Officer,


"I noticed that one of the Reins to your Horse is tied around your Horse's Testicles. Some might consider this to be "Cruelty to Animals", so you'd best have your Husband check this, too"..???


"Again, I thank thee," said the Amish lady, "I shall have my Husband check this also when I return home."


True to her word, when the Amish lady got Home she told her Husband about the Broken Reflector and her husband said that he would Repair it immediately.




"Also," said the Amish lady, "The Policeman said that there was something wrong, with our Buggy's Emergency Brakeā€..??
 

mollag

Kipper restorer
Dec Jokes '21.
Spotted my oul mate Ffinlo today, him with just the one arm.
"Where you off to then, Ffin?" I shouted
"I'm away to change a light bulb," he said.
"Is that not going to be bit awkward ?" I asked.
"Gawd no he ses,.....I've still got the B&Q receipt." (y)
 

Tenpin

The Yorkshireman
Dec Jokes '21.
Professor Neil Ferguson predicts Manchester United will beat Norwich today by 3 million goals to 150,000.
 

IbrahimAbi

Grey wisdom
Dec Jokes '21.
Reputedly authentic announcement on British Rail

'Please move all baggage away from the doors.' (Pause..) 'Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.' (Pause...) 'This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your @rse sideways!'
 

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