"Corny Jokes".
Redneck Family Tree :-

Many many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandmother too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,

I am now my own Grandpa..!
"Corny Jokes".
I was in Halfords and noticed that the Turtlewax, was five times the price of the store brand..

I asked the clerk..??

And he explained to me that it's because Turtles have very Tiny Ears..


Kipper restorer
"Corny Jokes".
I was at the Tate Modern Gallery with my friend today and we saw a painting of a man with frizzy hair which had the name 'Garfunkel' written underneath.
My friend said, "I like it, but is it Art?".........

Frankie T

"Corny Jokes".
My daughter's hamster died, so I replaced it whilst she was at school.

As soon as she walked in her room she noticed and said,

"What the hell are you doing in the hamster's cage dad?"
"Corny Jokes".
My Dog has been Constipated for a over a week now.

So, I let him out in the backyard today and he took the biggest Poop you could ever imagine.

I took a close look at it and it appeared to have some Writing on it..?!?!?

So, I went back into the House to get my Glasses,


Because I can't Read Shit without my Glasses..

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