merpip

Happy Member
August Humour
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.
I described a typical day this way:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7km through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake.
I pushed my way through brambles.
I got sand in my shoes and my eyes.
I avoided standing on a snake.
I climbed several rocky hills.
And i took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers"
Inspired by the story, the doctor said. "You must be one hell of an outdoors man?"
"No." I replied. "I'm just a bad golfer."
 

mollag

Kipper restorer
August Humour
Chucking out time in a Bayeux style :cool:
239221628_10157951031220940_4288245257721115646_n.jpg
allium condimentum Garlic sauce---uncia uiriditas, an ounce of weed.-----im tam ebrius est, I'm so drunk
 
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mollag

Kipper restorer
August Humour
Mens advisory,
Female vocabulary terms. true meanings -A series of 8
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up, rapid!
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. see #1
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, a trap, not permission. Do not do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever'). ( Whatever: Is a women's way of saying **** YOU!
( 1f60e.png Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' for the woman's response refer to # 3.
 

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