merpip

Happy Member
April Jokes '21.
😅







A bit of humour for your entertainment:

Question: When is the use of 'F**k or 'F**king' acceptable?

Answer: There are only 11 times throughout history where the 'F' word has been considered acceptable for use. In ASCENDING order, those exclamations are:

11. "What the F**k do you mean, we're sinking?"
~ Capt. E. J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912.

10. "What the F**k was that?"
~ Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945

9. "Where did all those F**king Indians come from?"
~ George Custer, 1877

8. "Any F**king idiot could understand that."
~ Albert Einstein, 1938.

7. "It does so F**king look like her!"
~ Picasso, 1926

6. "How the F**k did you work that out?"
~ Pythagoras, 126 BC.

5. "You want WHAT on the F**king ceiling?"
~ Michelangelo, 1566.

4. "Where the F**k are we?"
~ Amelia Earhart, 1937.

3. "Scattered F**king showers, my ass!"
~ Noah, 4314 BC.

2. "Aw, come on Monica. Who the F**k is going to find out?"
~ Bill Clinton, 1998.
AND THE WINNER IS ....

1. "There is no F**king way Trump will ever become President"
~ Hillary Clinton, 2016.
 

mollag

Kipper restorer
April Jokes '21.
I was clearing out my elderly neighbours back garden yesterday when I came across a lamp. I rubbed the side of it and guess what - Yep a genie appeared in a puff of smoke !!
"I'll grant you one wish for releasing me from the lamp" he boomed !
I looked up and saw a passenger jet in the sky, in need of a holiday, I said " I wish I was on that plane"
With a whoosh my wish was granted..... Ten minutes later, I landed at the local airport......... :confused:
 
April Jokes '21.
I'm tired of people complaining about the $7 Beers, $10 Parking and the $20 Cover Charge.



If you don't like the Prices, then stop coming round to my House.
 

merpip

Happy Member
April Jokes '21.
When you are bored just think about a few things that don't make sense like:

1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims"
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
9. If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.
10. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made ?
 

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