Alienated conspiracy facts

[bobthenob]

Written By,Bobthenob
lnfluenced by the chief ancestor

According to the latest conspiracy theory on the aliens taking over our planet in a stealth fully manner,will aid them by bringing fear to the world population.NASA has decided to distort a few facts about these little green visitors from a far off distant planet, are nothing more then our ancient ancestors coming to warn us of our self destruct policies influenced by the alien idiots from another planet called the ivory tower.

These idiots are very noticeable in today’s society,because of the stupid faces they pull when addressing issues to the public.NASA has confirmed one of these idiotic aliens is named as a Gorden Brown,NASA would rather call this alien a gormless creature due to his exaggerated face pulling[only a mother could love] which resembles a chicken that is constipated.NASA has been searching long and hard looking for his leading partner which was pulling the strings.Dressed up as an American leader,the string puller was no other then the President called Bush the Mush.

The idiotic aliens clever scam was to create a conspiracy theory of an alien invasion force that wants to turn the world into a police state and make all the people programmed to agree with the idiots political policies.

They want you to believe they are your friend by imitating as a humanoid that are in a authoritative position so they can rule the world and allow more of their idiotic kind to flourish on the earth,walking around as human when in fact their androids from the ivory tower planet. Their intention is to destroy what is sacred to our ancestors,which is the living planet.

Conspiracy theories are only there for the benefit of the political regime influenced by some other force that has the ability to promote as well as to instigate policies of evil,that destroys what we naturally need to survive.

The idiotic authorities in the privileged positions throughout the world have an escape plan away from the earth once it is in the process of being destroyed,by quickly phoning their mates many light years away to come and pick them up.They’ll arrive quicker then a black cab stuck in London traffic,because they know how to use the worm holes in space as a short cut through another dimension.

The political parties and the main big business are all connected as one body,to use these worm holes to seek out and to boldly go where no other idiot has gone before to destroy the natural thinking of what our loving ancestors has given us to flourish in a harmonious behaviour with each other.

So,when you hear Mr Gormless talking about he is the saviour of the world..Don’t believe him,because in alien language that means he is the exterminator of all things that are based on commonsense.And for a leader to say he convinced there are weapons of mass destruction in them hills,is a lie.The idiotic alien wants you to believe we must go to war to stop these destructive weapons from destroying the planet.When in fact the real truth is in alien language is to deceive the people into thinking this way so they themselves can go to war to destroy the earth.

 

[panther]

Bob:

I hope if there are aliens on another planet. They have a cure for Cancer. And other problems. All these years and still searching for many unsolved diseases.

 

[ceemac]

Interesting theory Bob. You shouldn't mock aliens though because they do exist.

I've never told this to anyone else before but a number of years ago I was abducted by them.

I was sitting in my own house writing when this thing that I can only describe as a huge prawn appeared and touched me on the head.

Everything went white but I do remember floating up and through the ceiling - I then passed out I think.

When I came to I was lying on a table with a number of these crustaceans leering at me. They didn't say anything but I was getting telepathic messages from them telling me that all the males of their species had died out due to a rare dsease, and they needed me to mate with them to ensure the continuation of their species.

I thought back at them 'You must be f*c*ing joking, have you seen yourselves recently? I've been with some ugly women in my time but you lot are just gross' At this point I had my face slapped for about 5 minutes but none of them moved a mussel (muscle get it?)

Anyway I passed out again and when I woke up I was back home smelling like a bag of scampi fries and boy did my nether regions ache.

Well, I finished the little dribble of scotch that was left in the bottle I had been drinking before those slithery little b*stards appeared.

Keep this to yourself Bob, I don't like talking about it, I still can't abide shrimp cocktail.

C

 

[bobthenob]

Ceemac.:hehe::hehe:for the life of me,l thought l was the one with the wild imagination.Then you come on the scence to create a more hilarious story.:thumbup:
Absolutly a fantastic write up.How can l match that one.:caked:
Dear oh dear,l still have tears running down my cheeks.

 

[peter the postie]

Do aliens have clique's I wonder :hmm:

 

[scattea]

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed
for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien
addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to
your leader.'

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again,
there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his
ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do
not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to
do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump!
and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared
towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a
burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly
at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green
head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near
killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend
and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic
travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can wrap his penis around
himself twice and then stick it in his ear.'
__________________

 

[scattea]

Everybody from the North thinks everybody from the South is just sitting around, barefoot, wearing overalls, eating jellied eels, watching Eastenders,' listening to country music, drinking Jack Daniel's, going to tractor pulls, wearing trucker caps, drinking champagne, picking, riding around in pickup trucks, having sex with our relatives, and looking for UFOs. And that's not true -- it's not -- I've never seen a UFO, and second cousins don't count

 

[tinkyman]

Brown an alien - i think not but Labour are definitely tossers but regretfully the biggest tossers are those that voted them in. Its just taken them a bit longer than normal to bankrupt the country.
and i will be in Altinkum tomorrow so they can do what they want for 10 days. I dont care any more

 

[bobthenob]

Another strange conspiracy theory about the aliens is do they go to the toilet.l always wondered that,because just in case they abduct me after l just walked out of a Indian restaurant with a belly full of burning vindaloo and several lagers inside me will be quite worrying,when l see a alien craft above me with a beam of light heading my way..l’ll s**t myself.

What do their toilets look like and would you use them.l’m sure it’s not the pull and chain method.That’s to primitive for a race that is suppose to be a thousand years ahead of us.
These aliens always walk around naked revealing nothing but just their skin and nothing else.Don’t they believe in wearing underpants and other undergarments.

 

[SuperBogs]

Another strange conspiracy theory about the aliens is do they go to the toilet.l always wondered that,because just in case they abduct me after l just walked out of a Indian restaurant with a belly full of burning vindaloo and several lagers inside me will be quite worrying,when l see a alien craft above me with a beam of light heading my way..l’ll s**t myself.

What do their toilets look like and would you use them.l’m sure it’s not the pull and chain method.That’s to primitive for a race that is suppose to be a thousand years ahead of us.
These aliens always walk around naked revealing nothing but just their skin and nothing else.Don’t they believe in wearing underpants and other undergarments.

If you were HUNG like that Petrol Pump Alien would you wear clothes Bob?...LOL

Biker Bob

 

[bobthenob]

That pump did have underpants.l think it was called a shell