bobthenob

Non Active Member
Adam
Many thousands of years ago,was a man called Adam,living in a place of paradise that was created by the almighty governor himself.Adam,wasn’t at all happy,matter of fact,he was quite peed off,with what he saw.The animals around Adam were having the time of their lives,with their partners in matrimonial bonding.The squirrels were romancing in the trees,and also doing things that comes natural[specially programmed to having it off,in technical terms]Adam knew in his heart this just isn’t how it should be,while the animals are enjoying the friendship of a partner,and Adams thoughts were, l am with no partner.”So”!,he got on the blower to God and said to him,”hey”!governor,why is it that all the animals are in matrimonial bonding in pairs,and me with no one to romance with.A thousand apologies Adam,me old mate.said god,l was very busy,dealing with another planet,on the other side of the universe,sorting out their policies on empathy,and l plum forgot about you.
The all mighty,ordered Adam to lay down,and he said to Adam,in a calm soothing voice,Adam when you wake up,you will be blessed with a partner that will cherish your character.and this partner will be called a woman”ok”,”ok”,please get on with it.”Oooouuch”!,OOH!,sorry,l forgot to put you to sleep,this time l’ll get it right.The anistetic god used was a thick olive branch to,bash Adam on the head.Eventually,Adam was knocked out after the third attempt by God[God mumbled to himself,about Adams thick head needs adjusting]God removed the rib from Adams side,to create the woman of his dreams.
When Adam woke up,with a dull pain in his side,he was faced with a very beautiful elegant woman,that aggitated his chemicals within him.He never felt like this before,and he noticed a thingy between his legs,moving about,that’s strange,he said,l never had one of those before.God explained it to him,that this toy,l attached between your legs,is a gift from me for you to enjoy,but use it wisely,because there are many uses you can perform with it, that can lead you into trouble.
He was very excited with his toy.He could pee standing up,and draw lines and write names in the sand,just by standing there,he could aim for a rock ten feet away,he was in his elements like a little boy jumping up and down with excitement.He stuck his tongue out to eve,and said,neh,neh,your jealous,.Eve just smiled in disbelief,how Adam is so obsessed with this thing,that he plum forgot,about why he was so depressed in the first place.God said to Eve.l also have a gift for you.”ooHH”!,whats that me dear.lt is something that l saved for the person that can use it wisely,and that is a brain.Use it wisely,because there will be many more later on to test you out.
 

Susan

Non Active Member
Adam
Adam
Okay, so God created Adam in his own image. Physically or spiritually, whatever.

Did Adam have the standard male genitals? (most of you are probably familiar with them, one way or another).
Now, I could understand God giving Adam a penis; after all, when you urinate it's handy to be able to aim somewhere convenient. But did he have testicles? Unless I've missed something, the sole purpose of testes is reproduction.

( What other use do they have? Maybe in the days before Eve, they served some other purpose. Perhaps they were some sort of alarm system, that lit up and made loud hooting noises if Adam strayed too close to a cliff edge or was about to eat something poisonous? )

My point? Well, God created Eve so that Adam would not be lonely. Why did he give Adam testes at the start unless he already knew that he would have to create Eve also?
Why not just create the two of them (Adam and Eve, that is) at the same time? What use are male reproductive organs without the complimentary female ones?

Perhaps when God made Eve, he did a little extra surgery on Adam whilst he slept, and furnished him with the appropriate equipment. Imagine his surprise when he woke up!

Eve
Why did God create Eve from one of Adam's ribs? He created Adam from dust, what's the big deal about creating another one without having to do a bit of surgery on poor old Adam? You'd think an omnipotent being would be a bit more organised...

( And, of course, there's the story of Lillith - Eve was not the first woman, she came in second (or maybe even third...)).
 

bobthenob

Non Active Member
Adam
Class Gypsy
Posts: 808
Re: Adam



But did he have testicles? Unless I've missed something, the sole purpose of testes is reproduction.
Yes,the balls were an added bonus,given as a gift,by the boss,to use for the sole purpose of producing.Adam will work it out later on,when he starts to get bored with weeing.

Perhaps they were some sort of alarm system, that lit up and made loud hooting noises if Adam strayed too close to a cliff edge or was about to eat something poisonous? )
it was also used as a slingshot once erected[this is where eve comes in handy]bung a stone on it,pull it back and release,thats their first weapon to catch their prey

My point? Well, God created Eve so that Adam would not be lonely. Why did he give Adam testes at the start unless he already knew that he would have to create Eve also?
To confuse Adam,remember,the brain was given to Eve


Perhaps when God made Eve, he did a little extra surgery on Adam whilst he slept, and furnished him with the appropriate equipment. Imagine his surprise when he woke up!
he was also excited by the size,now he could aim even further,by using it as a slingshot

Eve
Why did God create Eve from one of Adam's ribs? He created Adam from dust.
The dust is symbolic,he was created from the earth,that has all the minerals to make a human.The rid,has the dna code already,to produce an almost identical replica of Adam,but this time with a brain.

( And, of course, there's the story of Lillith - Eve was not the first woman, she came in second (or maybe even third...)).
Who's the hell lillith,was she the one that came from the sea,and Adam didn't like the look of,so he chucked her back in the sea.
 

Susan

Non Active Member
Adam
bobthenob said:
Who's the hell lillith,was she the one that came from the sea,and Adam didn't like the look of,so he chucked her back in the sea.

She was the second women God created but Adam did not like the first one, and then he found that Lillith would not do as she was told and she told him to sweep the floor himself and otherthings, just like us modern women do [/B]lol, so Adam did not like being told what to do by a women so he asked God to make him a new one, so God made him nice gentle little Eve who did as she was told most of the time anyway.

Think Lillith went to live by the Red Sea and had a good time lol

The only other Littith I know is Frazier's Ex Wife.lol

Susan
 

bobthenob

Non Active Member
Adam
Susan said:
She was the second women God created but Adam did not like the first one, and then he found that Lillith would not do as she was told and she told him to sweep the floor himself and otherthings, just like us modern women do [/B]lol, so Adam did not like being told what to do by a women so he asked God to make him a new one, so God made him nice gentle little Eve who did as she was told most of the time anyway.

Think Lillith went to live by the Red Sea and had a good time lol

"well"!,thats sods law for you,got chucked out of paradise,for refusing to sweep the orchards,and then she gets hit by a massive tsunami living at the red sea,because she was easily persuaded to follow a guy called moses.God does work in mysterious ways
 

Susan

Non Active Member
Adam
bobthenob said:
[
"well"!,thats sods law for you,got chucked out of paradise,for refusing to sweep the orchards,and then she gets hit by a massive tsunami living at the red sea,because she was easily persuaded to follow a guy called moses.God does work in mysterious ways


:lmao: :larf: :lmao:
 

KKOB

Completely Chillaxed
Adam
If "God created Man in his own image", and "cleanliness is next to Godliness" etc etc, why isn't man born already circumcised ?

Over to you, Doctor Bob ! :lol:
 

bobthenob

Non Active Member
Adam
If "God created Man in his own image", and "cleanliness is next to Godliness" etc etc, why isn't man born already circumcised ?

Over to you, Doctor Bob !
When it says,about cleanines,mainly its referring to the mind being clean ,with no wicked thoughts.And Adam the sole replica of god,gave Adam a choice in life,either you are with me,or you are without me.Adam made the choice of being independent,from gods law,and felt the wrath from eve,by circumcising Adam.Where he has now reliazed,that if you cherish your tackle,let the woman have the last word.Don't argue,or the knob will get it.
 

Susan

Non Active Member
Adam
So does this mean that Adam, was circumcised.

But to answer KKOBs question, why would God Circumcise all you Males before you were created and let you miss out on the pleasure of having it done later in life.

Susan
 

Susan

Non Active Member
Adam
bobthenob said:
When it says,about cleanines, that if you cherish your tackle,let the woman have the last word.Don't argue,or the knob will get it.

Cleaning the knob.
Step1
Pull the cover off of the dirty knob.
Step2
Spray contact cleaner spray on the shaftometer, rotate the knob back and forth through its entire range. This may clean the shaft,
Step3
Remove the shaft from its housing and spray into the bottom part (base) of the shaftometer Rotate the knob.
Step4
listen for noise while rotating the knob. If the problem still persists, it may be easier to remove the knob and solder in a replacement
Step 5
Draw a wiring diagram or take a picture of how the part is hooked up before snipping the wires attached to it. Bring the knob to an electronics store and find a replacement part with the same resistance as the original part. The resistance is indicated by a number that can be found on the back of the shaftometer.
Step6
Using solder and a solder gun, attach the two (or three) wires to the shaftometer.
 

bobthenob

Non Active Member
Adam
Susan said:
Cleaning the knob.
Step1
Pull the cover off of the dirty knob.
Step2
Spray contact cleaner spray on the shaftometer, rotate the knob back and forth through its entire range. This may clean the shaft,
Step3
Remove the shaft from its housing and spray into the bottom part (base) of the shaftometer Rotate the knob.
Step4
listen for noise while rotating the knob. If the problem still persists, it may be easier to remove the knob and solder in a replacement
Step 5
Draw a wiring diagram or take a picture of how the part is hooked up before snipping the wires attached to it. Bring the knob to an electronics store and find a replacement part with the same resistance as the original part. The resistance is indicated by a number that can be found on the back of the shaftometer.
Step6
Using solder and a solder gun, attach the two (or three) wires to the shaftometer.
By reading this step by step programe of yours,lts look like you already have experience in this field of theraputic anatomy.
Your a character,with quick answers
 

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